Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#medicine #people #elders #development

Recently, thanks to sophisticated medicine, the life expectancy of

people

is longer than it used to be in the past. With that in mind, it is anticipated that the number of old

people

will exceed the youngest ones. While there might be possible disadvantages of

this

development, it is my opinion that the advantages are more significant.

To begin

with, the

first

disadvantage of

people

living longer is that it might be an economic burden on some countries

such

third

-world nations.

This

is because the cost of medicine production and development is high as these countries allocate their money to be spent in other fields with higher priorities

such

as building infrastructure.

Secondly

, if the number of older

people

is increasing,

this

might harm the workforce. The reason for

this

is that several work fields require physical strength

such

as construction works.

Consequently

, elderly

people

are not fit for

such

jobs as there are fewer young

people

who can fill the gap. Having said that, the

first

benefit of having more old

people

around is that it is worthwhile for the working force.

This

is because most of the married youths are dual-income families; both of the parents are working.

Therefore

, if the grandparents are enjoying good health, these working couples will leave their children with grandparents while they at work.

As a result

, they will feel a sense of tranquillity and security. What is more, these old

people

can benefit society in the long run.

This

is based on the fact that they possess valuable wisdom and experience from their long lifetime.

Moreover

, they can transfer their useful aspects to children, and,

this

indeed, will lead to a better generation in the future. In conclusion,

although

there are several problems that

this

development – brings predominately economic burden and negatively affecting workforce- the benefits it brings

such

as helping their sons to take care of their children and raising better future generations are impossible to ignore.

Submitted by omarmohamed995 on Tue Jul 27 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
geriatric population
intergenerational
volunteering
medical advancements
economic contribution
cultural perspective
healthcare expenditures
age-friendly
ageism
public policies
demographic shifts
economic stability

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