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Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplace #countries #outweigh
Recently, plenty of students rather
to
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apply
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have a part-time job than totally focus on the academic grades, because they consider working experience
is
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apply
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more vital than the
knowledge
 which
be
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is
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 learned at school. Personally, I agree with
this
 notion, and the following contents will list the benefits and
shortage
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shortages
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about
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of
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 it. The theories and concepts
plays
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play
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 a crucial role in the profession.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
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knowledge
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the basis of the subject, you can not work without it.
For example
, as a physiotherapist, understanding the mechanisms, the movements and the pathology of each region
on
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of
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human
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the human
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 body is absolutely vital. Without knowing
these information
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this information
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, the therapist will not
able
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be able
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 to assess and treat the patients.
Therefore
,
this
 is the reason why studying in school is so important.
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
 is crucial,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical skills could be more useful in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 workplace.
Usually
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Usually,
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 there
is
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are
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 not that many types of difficulties, which
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionals will confront in their career.
For instance
, physiotherapists only provide patients with certain treatments because these techniques could be enough for all the patients in the clinic.
Although
 we learned about the
knowledge
 which is more than thirty kinds of disabilities at school, most of them will not be utilized.
Furthermore
, not only the practical skills but
also
 the social experience could be important for a student to confront the barrier.
While
 students are working, they will face enormous kinds of situations,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, they need to brainstorm
the
Correct article usage
apply
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solutions or answer the mean customers by themselves. These
experience
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experiences
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 could assist them
to overcome
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in overcoming
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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difficulties in the future. In conclusion, even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
 is important, there are some other objects
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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 be more helpful to a student either in their workplace or
their
Change preposition
in their
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 future lives.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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task response
Your response is complete and addresses the given topic. However, some ideas lack clarity and could be further developed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion can be improved to better frame your ideas.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary range is adequate, but try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is mostly accurate. However, pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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