Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, plenty of students rather
to
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apply
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have a part-time job than totally focus on the academic grades, because they consider working experience
is
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apply
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more vital than the
knowledge
which
be
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is
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learned at school. Personally, I agree with
this
notion, and the following contents will list the benefits and
shortage
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shortages
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about
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of
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it. The theories and concepts
plays
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play
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a crucial role in the profession.
These
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This
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knowledge
are
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is
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the basis of the subject, you can not work without it.
For example
, as a physiotherapist, understanding the mechanisms, the movements and the pathology of each region
on
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of
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human
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the human
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body is absolutely vital. Without knowing
these information
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this information
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, the therapist will not
able
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be able
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to assess and treat the patients.
Therefore
,
this
is the reason why studying in school is so important.
Although
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge
is crucial,
the
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apply
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practical skills could be more useful in
a
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the
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workplace.
Usually
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Usually,
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there
is
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are
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not that many types of difficulties, which
the
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apply
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professionals will confront in their career.
For instance
, physiotherapists only provide patients with certain treatments because these techniques could be enough for all the patients in the clinic.
Although
we learned about the
knowledge
which is more than thirty kinds of disabilities at school, most of them will not be utilized.
Furthermore
, not only the practical skills but
also
the social experience could be important for a student to confront the barrier.
While
students are working, they will face enormous kinds of situations,
as
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and as
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a result, they need to brainstorm
the
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apply
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solutions or answer the mean customers by themselves. These
experience
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experiences
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could assist them
to overcome
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in overcoming
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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difficulties in the future. In conclusion, even though
the
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apply
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knowledge
is important, there are some other objects
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be more helpful to a student either in their workplace or
their
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in their
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future lives.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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task response
Your response is complete and addresses the given topic. However, some ideas lack clarity and could be further developed.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion can be improved to better frame your ideas.
lexical resource
Your vocabulary range is adequate, but try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance your writing.
grammatical range
Your grammar is mostly accurate. However, pay attention to verb tense consistency and sentence structure.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
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