IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

#demand #oil #gas #areas #world #access #resources
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It is true that the supply of fossil fuels should follow its demand which is
raising
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rising
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 day by day, but
instead
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 of focusing on
this
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 particular
fuel
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, it is possible to meet the needs of customers in using other
energy
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 resources. In
this
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 essay, I will explain my disagreement with the topic sentence. Nobody can deny the fact that
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 is growing and the economy have the responsibility to support it. Public needs ranging from transportation to heating the houses are concerned with using
oil
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 and
gas
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 which has some negative consequences in our lives and on our planet. The resources of
this
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fuel
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 are limited
therefore
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 it makes it difficult to discover the potential areas.
In
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addition
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,addition
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 the authorities spend
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great proportion of the taxes on finding
oil
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.
On the other
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hand
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,hand
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 a great part of global pollution can be addressed
to
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by
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 burning fossil
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fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
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.
As a result
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, by
a
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apply
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constructing valuable infrastructure for finding
Gas
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 and
Oil
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, we helped the planet to be more damaged. We can find our new path by using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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renewable
energy
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instead
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 of insisting and the traditional way. there are
variety
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a variety
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 of renewable
energy
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 resources on earth
such
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 as solar, wind, Hydroelectric and wave which can be good options to use rather than fossil
fuel
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.
first
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 of all, they are all environmentally friendly alternatives
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can be applied
in
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on
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 both minor and larger scales. Our other alternative is to use more efficient machines which can be compatible with every kind of
energy
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 .By planting solar panels or wind turbines, we will probably become independent of using
gas
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 and
oil
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. In conclusion, I completely disagree with
the
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apply
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destroying the Earth by searching for more
oil
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 and
gas
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 spots, while we can benefit from consuming
other kind
Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
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 of
energy
Use synonyms
such
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 as wind and solar power.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
What to do next:
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