in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In different parts of the globe
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to relocate from the villages to
ubran
Correct your spelling
urban

If you don’t want ubran to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in fact has a negative consequence with a decrease in the percentage of the
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the rural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has both
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want opportunies to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and challenges. On the one hand, it is evident that
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

who move to the city benefit in many ways.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

ranges from better health, education, and occupations.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are more hospitals
availabe
Correct your spelling
available

If you don’t want availabe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with good healthcare
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems

It seems that system may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
, which means
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

perhaps no longer have to worry about the availability of medications and doctors in
a hospitals
Correct the article-noun agreement
hospitals
a hospital

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun hospitals in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is beneficial for the young ones, where there is
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential

If you don’t want potiential to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to learn in
high standard
Add a hyphen
high-standard

It seems that high standard is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
educational systems
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and pursue higher education in universities available in the city. Perhaps the most
significat
Correct your spelling
significant

If you don’t want significat to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

positives
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
would be a wider range of transportation from trains to buses, and taxis that make
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
easier, which could be limited in rural
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
By contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are downsides to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

development, where the rural area will suffer from depopulation. In some cases, as families move to more populated
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

they tend to leave their older parents behind. Studies have
showed
Change the verb form
shown

It appears that the verb showed should be in the past participle form. Consider changing it.

show examples
, that most elderly
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

appear to suffer neglect when they lose contact with families and network of friends around, which can ultimately lead to a significant rise in depression and loneliness. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there are shortcomings to the older generation
ad
Correct your spelling
and

The word ad doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

reside
Wrong verb form
residing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reside. Consider changing it.

show examples
in urban
areas
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it appears to be that the advantages
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely

If you don’t want definetly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh

It seems that the verb outweighs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
the disadvantages.
It
Correct pronoun usage
Its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
benefits seem to be more appealing to everyone.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state your stance on whether rural-to-urban migration is a positive or negative development. At present, the introduction presents both sides without a clear position.
task achievement
Try to make your main points more distinct and focused. For example, instead of broadly mentioning opportunities and challenges, you could have separate paragraphs that discuss each in detail.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using transition words or phrases to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a conclusive ending. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and clearly restate your position to leave a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
Double-check your work for minor errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have a strong foundation in discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of rural-to-urban migration.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the availability of healthcare and educational opportunities, which help to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with distinct paragraphs dedicated to different points, which is a good practice.
coherence cohesion
You have attempted to balance the discussion with both positive and negative aspects, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
Look at other essays: