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Band 6.5

Some people think that individuals today are more dependent on each other. Others believe people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals
There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these days, many
people
 are more independent, composed of many factors, while
others
 remain to be dependent on each other because society has highly versatile cohorts.
This
 essay will illustrate some information about two
opinion
 cohorts and share my
opinion
. On the one hand, the figures for
people
 who are dependent might be increasing because there are many factors to bring these issues.
First
, generally, some parents always had taken care of their children anytime that children have just understood to need other
people
 to help them in future.
In addition
, some occupations which need to technically work
such
 as artist, doctor, actor or
others
 are substantially necessary to have a good team for working their work, and that these will help to optimise their jobs.
On the other hand
, nowadays, technology has extremely developed which make these the different cohort.
This
 they can survey a lot of information on the internet, that they might help themselves without other
people
.
Furthermore
, they might be introverted which they would decide to do alone. My
opinion
, I think that
this
 statement is personal
opinion
, constituted many factors which make two different
people
. Absolutely, the
opinion
 of each individual is different.
For example
, some
people
 might be two different
people
 in one person because, sometimes, they need to be helped from
others
, but they still can do something by themselves To conclude, dependent
people
 might be different thinking which comes from their parents;
however
,
others
 have changed from their technology.
Submitted by nutt.spider on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnected
  • globalization
  • remote work
  • independence
  • dependency
  • specialization
  • professional services
  • social validation
  • individualism
  • self-reliance
  • collective action
  • sustainability
  • global community
  • navigating
  • complexity
  • environmental movement
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