IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to do physical activities to relax, while others choose mental activities. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #activities
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It is certainly true that individuals do lots of things to calm down their
mindp
Correct your spelling
mind
minds
. To achieve metal
piece
Fix the agreement mistake
pieces
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 join gymnasium and sports clubs and others play indoor
games
Use synonyms
. Due to
this
Linking Words
, all the factors will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
 the upcoming paragraphs along with
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
my opinion.
To begin
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 with, unfurling some valuable reasons of
this
Linking Words
 topic.
First
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 and foremost, it is commonly seen that
to play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 physical
games
Use synonyms
 like football, hockey, cricket
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not only
benifital
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for human health but
also
Linking Words
 good for
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 system. To explain, when
people
Use synonyms
 indulge in physical
games
Use synonyms
 their whole body parts work together and at the same time body realise feel good harmons which swing mood into negative to
postivie
Correct your spelling
positive
 and
people
Use synonyms
 feel light at that period.
Secondly
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,
people
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 feel the connection between their body and mind when they do any exercise and forget all their
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems
show examples
.
For example
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, in
gymnasium
Correct article usage
the gymnasium
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do several
kind
Change to a plural noun
kinds
show examples
 of practices and build their muscles strong and spend time in
positive
Add an article
the positive
a positive
show examples
 era.
On the other hand
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, there are different types of
another activities
Replace the adjective
another activity
other activities
show examples
 which play
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
a home
show examples
 and
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
helpful
Replace the word
help
show examples
 to relax
mind
Add an article
the mind
show examples
. Primarily, it
is generally
Change the verb form
generally seems
show examples
seem
Correct your spelling
seen
show examples
 in houses that
people
Use synonyms
 play
Correct your spelling
board
show examples
bord
Correct your spelling
board
show examples
games
Use synonyms
such
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 as ludo, carmabord, cards and many more. To play
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
games
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
fun
Add a missing verb
have fun
show examples
 together and
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 a well technic to pass their free time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
show examples
 of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
 there are lots of
people
Use synonyms
 who love to enjoy virtual
games
Use synonyms
 and relief their frustration.
For instance
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, in recent years the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fighting
games
Use synonyms
 are interested because
people
Use synonyms
 love these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of gaming and feel
stress free
Add a hyphen
stress-free
show examples
 after play these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
games
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of activities are valuable for humans to reduce
nagativeness
Correct your spelling
negativeness
 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that involve in physical activities are more important as compare to participate in indoor
games
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by gurwindersingh273926 on

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