We should increase the use of local resources to protect our environment. To what extent do you agree or degree.

It is a matter of debate that human beings should
use
natural resources in order to preserve the environment.
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Personally. Consider adding a comma.

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I support the statement that mankind should make some efforts to maintain surroundings. The following paragraphs will clarify my ideas along with relevant examples.
First
and foremost, humans
use
lot
Change the article
a lot

It appears that the phrase lot does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of artificial energy to satisfy the necessities of life. The
use
of petroleum and diesel to run the
cars
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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have some lethal impacts on the inhabitants as these
cars
emit
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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Lead which
dilute
Change the verb form
dilutes

The plural verb dilute does not appear to agree with the singular subject the Lead. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the air quality. Alongside, the coal used to drive train engines and generate
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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electricity,
also
released
high
Correct article usage
a high

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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threshold of pollution that leads to some serious
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses

It seems that illness may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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like asthma.
Thus
, humankind should try to investigate some alternatives to curb the repercussions. Moving
further
, the government should encourage the citizens to utilise more natural resources to quest
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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demands.
For example
,
solar
Add an article
the solar

The noun phrase solar panel seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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panel
Fix the agreement mistake
panels

It seems that panel may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should be installed on
the
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apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before every. Consider deleting the article.

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every roof in response to produce the power to run household appliances. Apart from that, folks should
use
public transportation which runs on electricity, in order to maintain the air quality. To conclude
then
, I personally believe that there are some problems that could be mitigated by the
use
of alternatives like
sun light
Correct your spelling
sunlight

The word sun light seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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can be converted into electricity by solar panel and hydroelectric
cars
should replace engine
cars
to get more sustainability of the environment.
Submitted by parneet.k876 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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