IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Write a letter to one of your colleagues has recently been appointed as the new manager of the company. Introduce yourself Congratulate him/her on the promotion And ask for an appintment to discuss the problems in your section.

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Dear Mr. Campbell, I hope
this
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 message finds you well. My name is Jonathan Fields, and I have been working as a Senior Analyst in the Marketing Department for the past four years.
Although
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 we’ve crossed paths briefly during previous project collaborations, we haven’t had the chance to formally connect. I was delighted to hear about your recent promotion to General Manager. Please accept my warmest congratulations—your leadership and professionalism have always stood out, and I am confident that the company will greatly benefit from your direction. I would appreciate the opportunity to schedule a brief meeting with you at your convenience. There are a few pressing matters within our department—particularly concerning resource allocation and project timelines—that I believe warrant discussion. Your insight would be incredibly valuable in addressing these challenges and finding constructive solutions. Please let me know a time that suits your schedule. I look forward to speaking with you. Warm regards, Jonathan Fields

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Task Achievement
The content of your letter is well-structured and covers all necessary points, which is excellent. You may want to incorporate more specific examples of the issues in your department to enhance the discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the letter is generally coherent, maintaining a single idea per paragraph can improve clarity. Consider separating the congratulations and the request for a meeting into distinct paragraphs for even better structure.
Task Achievement
Your warm and congratulatory tone is highly appropriate, which enhances the overall tone of your letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states who you are and your role, which sets a good foundation for the letter.
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