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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that individuals are becoming more dependent on each other in modern society, while others believe that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #society
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With the passage of
time
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,
people
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 the
world
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 over have realised that it is
next
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 to impossible to live and do activities alone. Resultantly, whereas some
individuals
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 claim that in
this
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 contemporary era, human beings are more dependent on each other, others contend that
people
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 are now more self-reliant compared to the past. I, too, wholeheartedly feel that human beings are becoming independent day by day down to having state-of-the-art technologies. In order to do a
task
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 smoothly and perfectly, nowadays, every
task
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 is categorized into several parts and assigned to different
individuals
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, creating dependency on each other
individuals
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.
In other words
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,
people
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 in
this
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 competitive
world
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 do not have enough
time
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 to do work perfectly for a long
time
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, resulting in the distribution of that
task
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 among others with a view to doing it quickly and accurately. To cite an example, in every garments factory, workers only do one
task
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,
such
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 as preparing collars or sewing; no employee is responsible to make a full dress. As a consequence, dependency on each other is giving priority in
this
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 modern
world
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. Plausible, though it may seem that sharing tasks create dependency, it is worth arguing that humans around the
world
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 can do now more activities by own compared to the bygone era.
This
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 is mainly because of the availability of up-to-the-minute products and services. To exemplify, due to having the internet facility, students can do their projects without taking help from seniors and cousins. Even every problem’s solution is in hands with the help of Google.
Hence
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, it would be
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 to impossible to study or stay in a foreign state for a long
time
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 provided that
people
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 could not become self-dependent to a large extent. In conclusion, admittedly,
individuals
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 divide tasks to get a perfect result but never they are becoming dependent; even become more independent because of latest technologies.
Therefore
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, eventually, I unequivocally buttress the stand that nowadays,
individuals
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 are more independent.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interconnectedness
  • globalization
  • digital communication platforms
  • mutual dependency
  • economic globalization
  • international supply chains
  • social validation
  • advancements in technology
  • individualism
  • technological tools
  • smartphones
  • personal computers
  • cultural shift
  • self-sufficiency
  • individualistic attitudes
  • personal achievement
  • self-care
  • interdependency
  • societal structures
  • emotional support
  • underlying foundations
  • human interaction
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