IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Everyone should be vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat to have a healthy diet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#meat #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Vegetarians have satisfactory immunity despite them not feeding on flesh.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not compulsory to feed on flesh to have a balanced diet. To commence with, vegetarian feeds on all food components apart from the animal protein
although
Linking Words
 there
other
Add a missing verb
are other
show examples
 options of feeding on plant protein and
thus
Linking Words
 achieve the same nutritional value obtained from
meat
Use synonyms
. Vegetables are affordable and easily available.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 one kilogram of beans which is plant protein can be consumed by
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 unlike I kilogram of
meat
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 research
done
Add the auxiliary verb
was done
show examples
 by Kenyatta Nation Hospital nutritional department indicates that only 5% of vegetarian
people
Use synonyms
 acquire communicable diseases.
Therefore
Linking Words
, for a healthy society and free from communicable diseases being a vegetarian would be a better option.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Meat
Use synonyms
 is tasty, attractive and make
people
Use synonyms
 feel full
unlike
Add the comma(s)
,unlike
show examples
 vegetarian meals which are digested very fast making someone desire to feed frequently.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 almost 95% of
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
 available in entertainment
joint
Fix the agreement mistake
joints
show examples
 is
meat
Use synonyms
 product and
thus
Linking Words
 vegetarians are not well represented.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
meat
Use synonyms
 has other merits when accompanied by other meals apart from just having a balanced diet. To summarise, a healthy diet will lead to a healthy nation but how
people
Use synonyms
feeds
Change the verb form
feed
show examples
 contribute a lot
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the health of a human being. In a
nutshell
Add a comma
,nutshell
show examples
 being healthy cannot be negotiated
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
it
facilitate
Change the verb form
facilitates
show examples
 immunity in our body.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: