IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people are leaving their homes in rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#people #homes #areas #study #work #cities #development
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A plenty
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Plenty
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 of individuals are staying away from their locality as they are commuting towards the developed
areas
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 in a state for either educational or job purposes.
This
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 situation is an outcome of the lack of learning facilities and occupational opportunities in the villages.The aim of
this
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 essay is to elaborate on the reasons behind
this
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 scenario and to compare the pros and cons of
this
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 scene. There are a few reasons that have paved the way to the given scenario.
Firstly
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, even in
this
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 22nd century most of the rural
areas
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 are lying remote and are not
sphisticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
 with high-standard schools.
That is
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 why
people
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 have to stay
at
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in
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far way
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faraway
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 towns to get the needed
eduaction
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education
.
Secondly
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, after the education, there are only a few career options in the villages.
Hence
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, to explore a bunch of jobs , the public
have
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has
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 to move to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Correct your spelling
nearby
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near by
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nearby
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well developed
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well-developed
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 towns.
For instance
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, after a bachelor degree
of
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in
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 engineering , the graduates have to settle in the cities to get a job
which
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that
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 is
in
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on
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 par with their education.
Thus
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people
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 have to leave their hometowns and come to live in metropolises. The major advantage of
this
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 phenomenon is that
people
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 can enjoy a whole lot of modern facilities like
hitech
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Hitech
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 infrastructure, multispeciality hospitals etc.
Besides
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this
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,this
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 they can
also
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 have a chance to be well-connected with all the main
areas
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 of the country.
However
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, the population has to face some problems
such
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 as pollution, high residential rents and get devoided of their own
people
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.
For
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example
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,example
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 even though
people
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 can go
a
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to a
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mall and enjoy
they
Correct pronoun usage
themselves they
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 will
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 miss their loved ones who are far from them and they
also
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 have to enjoy themselves and can not
totlaly
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totally
 share their happiness with their beloved ones. Overall, if
people
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 can get adjusted
in
Change preposition
to
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 a city, they can enjoy a brighter future by accessing all the modern
fcilities
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facilities
. To conclude, the essay has described the reasons behind why the
people
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 are moving into the towns despite leaving their homes in the country
areas
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.
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Also
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,Also
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 it has explained why
this
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 type of situation is more advantageous
fo
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for
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rthe
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the
people
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Urbanization
  • Educational institutions
  • Job prospects
  • Wages
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural exchange
  • Overpopulation
  • Cost of living
  • Rural depopulation
  • Social isolation
  • Traditional values
  • Personal growth
  • Recreational activities
What to do next:
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