At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage?

It is undeniable that the world at the present has had changed from
rural
Add an article
a rural
show examples
society
into
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
show examples
community
which has a lot of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology to improve the birth rate. In that case, some countries have a dramatic increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the young adult populations, while the
number
of older persons is decreasing from the past. From my point of view,
although
younger – aged
society
has often more benefits to the public, it offers some drawbacks and can present some issues to the
community
. On the one hand, one of the positive impacts of having the young
adults
rather than the older is that social structure is transformed from
rural
Add an article
a rural
show examples
society
into urban
society
and the industrial
community
which has a lot of the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology for the use.
For example
, many younger
adults
are often using some
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technologies to improve their skills
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education and career, and they use the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology to keep in touch with their family or friends.
Additionally
,
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
system of the
country
will be moved fast by
youngster
Replace the word
young
show examples
adults
because they are the positive men power of the
country
.
In other words
, the large
number
of
youngster
Replace the word
young
show examples
adults
can cause more workers and higher productivity which can lead to
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
growth of the wealthy nations, and many
people
think that having a lot of young
adults
can lead to
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
show examples
society
.
On the other hand
, some
people
argue that younger – aged
society
can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative effects to the
community
because younger
adults
are often using many resources
such
as
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, energy and knowledge rather than the older
people
, as the result, it can lead to the resources competition issue in the land.
Furthermore
, having many young
adults
can be said that the death proportion rather than the birth proportion, resulting from the medical system is a
fail
Replace the word
failure
show examples
to prevent
people
from sickness.
For instance
, Niger
country
has the maximum
number
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children death rate after birth due to the medical term are unsuccessful. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having
the
Change the article
a
show examples
large
number
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger
adults
will have both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive impacts and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the public due to they can drive the economy of their
country
, but they may cause some serious problems.
Therefore
, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
topic outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
Look at other essays: