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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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It is undeniable that the world at the present has had changed from
rural
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a rural
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society
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 into
modern
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the modern
a modern
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community
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 which has a lot of
the
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apply
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technology to improve the birth rate. In that case, some countries have a dramatic increase
of
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in
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 the young adult populations, while the
number
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 of older persons is decreasing from the past. From my point of view,
although
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 younger – aged
society
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 has often more benefits to the public, it offers some drawbacks and can present some issues to the
community
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. On the one hand, one of the positive impacts of having the young
adults
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 rather than the older is that social structure is transformed from
rural
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a rural
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society
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 into urban
society
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 and the industrial
community
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 which has a lot of the
advance
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advanced
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 technology for the use.
For example
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, many younger
adults
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 are often using some
advance
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advanced
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 technologies to improve their skills
on
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in
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 education and career, and they use the
advance
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advanced
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 technology to keep in touch with their family or friends.
Additionally
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,
economic
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the economic
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 system of the
country
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 will be moved fast by
youngster
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young
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adults
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 because they are the positive men power of the
country
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, the large
number
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 of
youngster
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young
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adults
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 can cause more workers and higher productivity which can lead to
high
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the high
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 growth of the wealthy nations, and many
people
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 think that having a lot of young
adults
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 can lead to
learning
Correct article usage
a learning
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society
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
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 argue that younger – aged
society
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 can cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative effects to the
community
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 because younger
adults
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 are often using many resources
such
Linking Words
 as
foods
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food
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, energy and knowledge rather than the older
people
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, as the result, it can lead to the resources competition issue in the land.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having many young
adults
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 can be said that the death proportion rather than the birth proportion, resulting from the medical system is a
fail
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failure
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 to prevent
people
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 from sickness.
For instance
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, Niger
country
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 has the maximum
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children death rate after birth due to the medical term are unsuccessful. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having
the
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a
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 large
number
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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younger
adults
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 will have both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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positive impacts and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative impacts
to
Change preposition
on
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 the public due to they can drive the economy of their
country
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, but they may cause some serious problems.
Therefore
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, it seems to me that the advantages of
this
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 topic outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by kitsanayuiyui on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
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