.It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

It has been pointed out that being extinct for a huge number of animals is a natural process. Human beings should not carry out several measures to prevent
this
natural selection from happening. I completely disagree with
this
idea as the main reason for
creatures
extinction is human activities.
First
of all, the
first
contributor to the disappearance of a vast majority of
creatures
is deforestation. Due to the extremely increasing number of populations, in order to produce sufficient food and survival, people have to shift woodlands that used to be habitats of wild animals to agricultural lands.
For instance
, in China, a massive proportion of farmers want to harvest more grains to cut down forests that are the habitations of pandas. Pandas no longer have enough bamboo to eat, and lose their home,
thus
raising the risk of being endangered.
Furthermore
, another factor leading to several species extinction is related to environmental issues
such
as global warming and climate change. The reason is that a huge number of electronic devices have been invented, thanks to technological innovations. These devices are powered by electricity which is obtained by burning countless amounts of fossil fuel
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and emit a great deal of exhaust into our atmosphere, which results in temperature raising and even glacial melting. As an illustration, there are not extremely cold places in which several polar bears
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
to be alive as the slow melting of the Arctic glaciers,
thus
prompting
massive
Correct article usage
a massive
show examples
percentage of these lovely
creatures
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
died. In conclusion, people may vary in their opinion about whether the extinction of wild
creatures
is a natural selection or not, while I am of the opinion that individuals’ activities are the primary reason for several animals disappearance.
Submitted by strawberry.guan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • biodiversity
  • conservation
  • ecosystems
  • environmental ethics
  • habitat destruction
  • anthropogenic impact
  • ecological balance
  • natural selection
  • wildlife preservation
  • genetic diversity
  • endangered species
  • biological heritage
  • sustainable practices
  • Anthropocene
  • cascade effects
  • intrinsic value
  • habitat conservation
  • extinction crisis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: