Some people believe studying in a college or university is the best way to prepare for a successful career.Other people prefer to get a job as soon as they leave scool and to develop their career through work experience. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
College and educational institution is a higher education certain people choose to continue, but at the same time, not everybody has thought the same. In my opinion, choosing to be a student in a higher institution and getting a career right away are two different matters,
this
is a matter of either new lessons to dive deep into or excelling with the experience you get.
Choosing to enrol in a university
may be an option these days. It is a very serious decision to make whether you choose to continue your education path or not. In my opinion, becoming a student in a specialized field of study and receiving a degree is one among many other ways to a successful career. consequently
, it also
offers you a wide knowledge and a deeper understanding of the subject you choose to learn. For example
, some institutions and big companies have made a Bachelor's degree a mandatory requirement to fulfil their vision, therefore
, it is easier for university
graduates to be given the opportunity to work within a well-known industry.
On the other hand
, individuals who choose to immediately get a job after school may seek experience rather than just knowledge about a certain profession. These days, it is not something new for others to start a small business on their own and even to get a profession without a university
grade. However
, in this
case, being accepted into higher institutions may be slightly harder than students who graduated from an academy. As a result
, those who choose to get work right after school may not easily gain a stable amount of money , especially working in a start-up or even a personal brand.
In conclusion, people who choose to continue their education at a university
and those who choose to work immediately have different goals they are aiming to achieve. It is about gaining new knowledge and gaining new experience. Both paths are neither wrong, all that matters is the plan we created on how we want to succeed in life, therefore
, big companies should still accept students applying for a position without a standard.Submitted by syaaakhansa on
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Task Achievement
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides your own opinion, which aligns well with the task's requirements. However, including more specific examples to support your points could further strengthen your argument and enhance task achievement.
Coherence & Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments. To further enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
General
To improve your essay, focus on providing more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will not only strengthen the task achievement score but also enrich the content of your essay, making your points more convincing to the reader.