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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults who commit crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #adults
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Juvenile delinquency is an issue of broad interest to the general public. Some people advocate that the government should impose the same punishments on young
offenders
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 as adult lawbreakers. Personally, I think that juvenile criminals should suffer the consequences differently compared with mature ones. Granted, it is unjustifiable for the young who are in breach of the law to be treated in the same way as adult
offenders
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 owing to their insufficient intellect. Young perpetrators cannot fully make out the adverse consequences of their offences. Some take part in illegal acts just because of curiosity, copying adults’ behaviours, or committing a petty crime to escape poverty.
Thus
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, giving them a harsh sentence is deemed not a fair trial. Meanwhile, there are other valuable forms of punishment for young people committing crimes.
For instance
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,
instead
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 of being sent to prisons where hardened criminals live, young
offenders
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 should go to rehabilitation centres or reformatory schools where they are not only educated and trained appropriately but continue their academic education as well.
Consequently
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, for the sake of their future, the young perpetrator can realize their misdeeds, learn salutary lessons, avoid mental disorders and criminal records when being given a
second
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 chance.
Besides
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,
juvenile
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the juvenile
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culprit
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culprits
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 should be forced to do unpaid community service
such
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 as working for a charity or improving the environment, which offers underage hooligan golden opportunities to contribute to society. In conclusion, a fitting punishment can act as a deterrent to deter the young from committing crimes. It is advisable that the government should impose light penalties on young
offenders
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.
Submitted by Hai Linh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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