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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays a growing amount of advertising aims at children. Some people think this have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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Nowadays, the
children
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 are treated as a customer of greater importance by sellers.
As a result
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, there is an increasing number of
advertisements
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 that share the same goal to draw
children
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's attention. From my perspective,
although
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 upsides exist, it is necessary that legislation should be introduced to limit
this
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 trend owing to the adverse effects. Admittedly,
advertisements
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 that are non-profitable are aimed to shape positive values noble personalities or vital life skills.
For instance
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, a child can learn about the importance of family and patience through watching an advertisement in which a child washes his mother's feet with care, and an advertisement on calling an ambulance may prepare a child for an emergency.
However
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 , the majority of the
advertisements
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 are commercial, which aimed to generate the impulse to buy some products. With little money in their hands,
children
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 may feel frustrated because they cannot purchase the attractive product themselves or failed to convince their parents to do so.
In addition
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,
children
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 under the circumstances above may
also
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 suffer from peer pressure. Seeing some classmates or friends who are showing off the fancy toy or other products that appeared in the
advertisements
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, these
children
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 may compare themselves with the people around them, leading to jealousy as well as peer pressure.
Furthermore
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, to deceive
children
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 into buying the goods, false information may be common in these
advertisements
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 while
children
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 still do not have a mature mindset and ability to distinguish the lies from commercials.
Therefore
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,the biased facts in commercial advertising may prevent the
children
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 from having a positive or correct view of the surrounding environment.
For example
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, the commercial on drinks may only present a fantastic taste and the actual product may be actually delicious, but it will not give away the downside of the product
such
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 as having a heavy amount of sugar. To sum up, non-profitable advertisement towards
children
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 is certainly beneficial, but it is important that we impose restrictions on the profitable ones to reduce the harm they have on
children
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.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Targeted advertising
  • Psychological development
  • Artificial needs
  • Unhealthy eating habits
  • Materialism
  • Consumerism
  • Parental responsibility
  • Critical thinking
  • Informative content
  • Economic implications
  • Revenue generation
  • Content creation
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