Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

It is true that the public has paid too much attention and too many resources to protect wild species. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
point of view. There are many reasons why some people think that the protection of wild species has attracted too much attention from the public.
Firstly
, many non-governmental organizations have been established to protect wild birds over the world.
Moreover
, these animal-related institutions are too concerned about wild
animals
.
For example
, they accused a singer of using wild
animals
in her own music videos for commercial purposes,
while
she did not.
Secondly
, news about animal-related issues spread quickly on the Internet.
For instance
, if a polar bear is imprisoned somewhere,
this
news will be shared rapidly through social networking sites
such
as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram , and Telegram.
In addition
, people have allocated too many resources to protect wild
animals
. The most important thing is that a great deal of
money
is required to carry out projects to protect
animals
,
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
infrastructure and research are the most expensive. The more difficult research is , the more it costs. Another thing is that investment in preserving the DNA of
animals
seems to be a waste of
money
to some extent. Governments should spend
money
on key fields
such
as medicine, education and transportation.
In addition
, local authorities ought to allocate
money
to improve the quality of life in some areas. In conclusion, the protection of wild
animals
has attracted too much concern and
money
.
Submitted by nhatrangthanyeu2013 on

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task response
The essay responds to the prompt by presenting arguments in favor of the opinion. However, the response lacks in-depth analysis and development of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but the logical structure of the essay could be improved for better coherence.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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