IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
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In recent years, most people have been really keen on getting elaborate information about the residents who are planning to live in. The main reasons for the inquisitiveness in finding out the history of the living places and the possible ways of inquiry will be illuminated in
this
 essay. Nowadays, security has become a concern issue,
therefore
, the number of individuals who are interested in getting information about the history of the places is growing day by day. The first reason for it is the increase of the foul in retrospect. In spite of warnings in social media, newspapers, news and advertisements, people can be cheated very easily by thieves who sell the same apartment to different residents.
Consequently
, one apartment belongs to two or more householders.
Secondly
, the house owners who are interested in the spiritual world and have some beliefs in the failure of the previous hosts’ damn rapidly increase
this
 trend.
Thirdly
, it is because of the individuals who consider the neighbourhood as a taste. One might consider the adage “Close neighbour is better than a distant relative.”
In addition
, in today’s modern era, it is very easy to dig up information about everything from necessary to nonsense. Social networks give a chance to be aware of all that new householders are interested in, including the location, the construction company, complaints about facilities, and even the neighbourhood.
To conclude
, new hosts have become concerned about the history of their new apartments for safe lives,
however
, it can be provided
due to
 research.
Submitted by berlinastanalll on

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task response
Address the exact essay question given. The current response does not directly answer whether the population shift from rural to urban areas is positive or negative. Instead, it focuses on why people investigate their living places.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. Make sure each paragraph directly supports your thesis statement, which should clearly mention whether you think the development is positive or negative.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your argument. Use personal experiences or well-known occurrences to substantiate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the argument.
general
The grammar and vocabulary used are generally good, making the essay easy to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
What to do next:
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