IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As countries develop, more and more people buy and use their own cars. Do the advantages of this trend for individuals outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#countries #people #cars #trend #individuals #environment
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In
this
Linking Words
 development
Nation
Add a comma
,Nation
show examples
 most of the
countries
Use synonyms
 car sales are increasing day by day. Many
people
Use synonyms
 wish to buy and ride their individual vehicles. There are some advantages for the human while
harmful
Add an article
the harmful
show examples
 effect on the environment. Still
people
Use synonyms
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 dismay about the environmental impacts. In
this
Linking Words
Linking Words
this
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
issues
Use synonyms
 due to using personal vehicles. I will give my opinion end of
this
Linking Words
 essay
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 The
first
Linking Words
 hand, overall, importance of private and safe transportation many
people
Use synonyms
 considering to own a
vehicle
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 using their own
vehicle
Use synonyms
 even they have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good public transport service.
For instance
Linking Words
, In Germany they are making luxury
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
 there for
people
Use synonyms
 who
living
Change the form of the verb
live
show examples
 there can simply buy and use the
vehicle
Use synonyms
 at
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 cost.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life,
personal
Add an article
the personal
show examples
vehicle
Use synonyms
 has become
in essential
Correct your spelling
inessential
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 needing list. Because public transport
such
Linking Words
 as subway or buses
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 unavailable, crowded and take more time for vacation due to
this
Linking Words
 fact more individuals feel comfortable and
easy
Change the adjective
easily
show examples
accessible
Replace the word
access
show examples
 in their
cars
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 nobody wants to travel with their baby, kids on a bus for hygiene
issues
Use synonyms
 among the community. In doubtless, buying
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a car
cars
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essential when we think about
comfortable
Correct article usage
a comfortable
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 journey especially family with children.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, environmental
issues
Use synonyms
 are getting rise around the world, especially in developed
countries
Use synonyms
 one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
this
Linking Words
 using the
cars
Use synonyms
. They release emission gases and other dangerous gases
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere.
This
Linking Words
 kind of polluted air which
factory
Fix the agreement mistake
factories
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 release can
be causes
Change the verb form
cause
show examples
 deadly health problems in human life.
For instance
Linking Words
, lung cancer is keen
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in developed
countries
Use synonyms
. The environmental harmful effect of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 can’t ignore. In Conclusion, the priority of getting comfortable when using
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
Use synonyms
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
 that
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
essential compare with health
issues
Use synonyms
. Everyone in the world must give more support
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
rescue
Change the verb form
rescuing
show examples
 our environment
then
Linking Words
 only we can stay healthily. Every state should have
consider
Replace the word
considerably
show examples
 reduce the
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of personal
cars
Use synonyms
 while improving
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and
safety
Replace the word
safe
show examples
 public transportation.
Submitted by sanj718 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal mobility
  • convenience
  • commuting
  • quality of life
  • personalized space
  • carbon emissions
  • global warming
  • air pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • environmental degradation
  • resource depletion
  • electric vehicles
  • carpooling
What to do next:
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