Many companies invest their money in sport games for advertisement purposes. Some people think it's good for the sport world, while others believe that it has some disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#companies #money #sport #games #advertisement #purposes #people #world

A lot of businesses spend their money on marketing

sports

games. People believe is it a good idea

that is

going to benefit the

sports

world,

while

others do not. I think it is a sword with double edges because on the one hand is going to help the firm to be famous, but

on the other hand

, that advertised product might be bad for humans. Using

sports

to get famous is a smart move.

Sports

fans play a huge role in

this

process

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

company's

Correct article usage

the company's

show examples

logos are going to take place in the field and clothes

therefore

many people are going to purchase these staff. I think it is a very smart idea because the audience is helping without any extra fee. On the other side, the majority of the products that have been promoted are bad for your health. Recent research published by WHO that 80% of the items that are connected to the

sports

world are not good. Take

for example

the power drinks, a lot of people are buying them

while

they are going to the

sports

field. Drinking that constantly is going to affect you. In my opinion, if a company is going to use the athletics sector to advertise, it should be something that helps individuals to improve their health , not the opposite. In conclusion, the way that company invests in the

sports

field has a huge effect

thus

why some of them become famous after being sponsors of a sport, but it can

also

be bad if they promote an unhealthy staff.

Submitted by zx00154 on Mon Feb 12 2024

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Task Achievement

Clarify and expand your introduction by briefly mentioning both sides of the argument and stating your opinion clearly. This sets a clearer expectation for the reader.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your arguments. This will enhance the logical flow and make your points more coherent.

Task Achievement

Support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence. Citing a study is a good start, but providing concrete examples or statistics will make your argument stronger.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to enrich your essay. This will help in expressing your ideas more effectively and make your essay more engaging.

Task Achievement

Conclude your essay with a stronger summary of your points and a restatement of your opinion. This ensures that your position is clear to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many companies invest their money in sport games for advertisement purposes. Some people think it's good for the sport world, while others believe that it has some disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Statement of purpose for PhD application at the University of Maryland.

In a number of countries , some people think its is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very trains between cities . Other believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others , however, believe that boys and girls would benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+