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Band 7.5

Some people think that prison's conditions should be improved. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #prison #conditions #outweigh
Nowadays incidence of the
crime
such
 as burglar or murder substantially increase and it depends on that the need of improving prisons' states comes up. It is considered by many that there are many upsides of
this
, others oppose them. I have a brief that it does not provide a satisfied solution to victims’ family while prisoner becomes more comfortable. When it comes to the advantages of stimulating conditions in the prison, the
first
 one is that it can lessen the
crime
 rate after prison comes out of jail. Having bad facilities, guilty people’ mental health can deteriorate, leading to risk to those outsides.
For instance
, in Guatemala having the worst conditions in prisons, the incidence of a
second
crime
 substantially increase over the period. Offering more opportunities and adding some recreational facilities help them to not commit crimes again and readjust to the outside world. There are two perceived disadvantages related to making better of prison conditions. One is that it deters the guilty people from suffering due to their mistakes granted that those in there commence living comfortably as if it is not punished to their guilty, resulting in disappointment for victims’ families, especially for murder.
In addition
 to that, underprivileged individuals can notice that prisons’ states are more appropriate because of improving their living standards.
This
 leads to rising in the
crime
 rate and
thus
 bringing about overtaking prisons’ capacity.
For example
, homeless people that come up against tough situations in winter can attempt to take in jail because of hot food and accommodation. I believe that the rate of
second
crime
 can be simply reduced with different kinds of regulations and enforcements so there are many downsides of improving the states of the jail. In conclusion, I consider that people might lose all faith in the judicial system of the country so we need to make allowances for victim's families.
Submitted by mdorukugur on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation outcomes
  • humane environment
  • positive behavior change
  • risk of violence
  • riots
  • safer environment
  • educational and vocational training
  • reintegration
  • operational costs
  • taxpayers
  • deterring effect
  • imprisonment
  • crime rates
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