Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

According to some people, faculty is responsible for teaching their students how to take good care of their
health
; others argue that
this
is not the responsibility of the
school
. In my opinion, the
school
is the best place for children to learn about
health
and fitness.
Firstly
,
to begin
with, youngsters spend a lot of their time at institutions and
as a result
, they have hardly any time to attend
health
classes
outside of
school
.
Moreover
, they definitely prefer to attend fitness
classes
at
school
as it gives them some break from their academic
classes
.
Therefore
, it is easy to teach them different ways to take care of their
health
at
school
premises.
For example
, according to research bi-weekly fitness
classes
reduces the number of sick leaves taken by students by 40%.
Secondly
, children take their teachers words more seriously than their parent's words as they want to be in the good books of their teacher.
Thus
, when a healthy habit is taught by their
school
teacher, children tend to follow the habit more.
In addition
, at
school
teenagers have the company of other adolescents.
This
enables them to participate in team events like football or cricket. To conclude, I agree that schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their
health
.
Submitted by sriban1974 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional education
  • Childhood obesity
  • Diet-related illnesses
  • Physical fitness
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Mental health education
  • Destigmatize
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Information overload
  • Holistic approach
  • Well-rounded individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: