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Band 7.5

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon?

#nations #trend #individuals #matters #earnings #expenditures #conversation #phenomenon
Nowadays
people
 gather to socialize and share personal experiences. There are some
people
 who worry about life in general especially when they compare and talk about their financial life with others in their daily routine. In
this
 essay, I will show the two main reasons
this
 affair is subject to knowing how well the others are doing and finding support or asking for help and why it can be the worst habit that
people
 are doing nowadays.
Firstly
, someone who is curious needs to know what is going on with other
people
 and it is vital for them to fish for some information.
In addition
, by doing that, they find a reason to interact
that is
 why
people
 enjoy talking and asking about anything even their financial situation.
For instance
, when my family and I meet, we always share our economic concerns, and what we do to earn or put aside more money.
Secondly
, in most countries,
people
 are having economic issues
due to
 the recession, and there are unknown social assistance or programs that they can refer to each other.
For example
, in Colombia, there are many unemployed
people
 seeking jobs through colleagues, friends or families.
Therefore
, they use each other as a net to share their financial concerns.
On the other hand
, sharing financial situations and talking daily with relatives or friends is unhealthy and worrying.
People
 are getting stressed and become sick, even though they are trying to be supportive or comprehensive. In many cases, no one can help an individual if they have not gone through the same situation and that can be overwhelming. In conclusion,
people
 like to spend their own time talking and sharing their expenses and revenues. Seeking support or knowing how well is a relative’s livelihood.
However
, it may affect their well-being and getting sick is one of the consequences.
Submitted by Andrea Barreto on

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coherence cohesion
Clarify the connection between seeking support and the negative impact it can have on health in your conclusion, as it seems a bit abrupt and not entirely connected to the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Try to expand on specific examples to better substantiate your points, especially concerning how discussing financial matters affects well-being.
task achievement
The essay addresses both potential reasons people discuss financial matters and the drawbacks of this trend, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion which encapsulate the main points of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with ideas presented in logical order.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic climate
  • social media platforms
  • transparency
  • cultural shifts
  • financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • comparison
  • competition
  • consumerism
  • trust
  • financial matters
  • earnings
  • expenditures
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