In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The diversity of age makes our world flourish vibrantly. With their unique upbringing, each generation can bring immense contributions
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
challenges to our humanity. Linking Words
While
elders are well respected in some cultures, youth is honoured in others.
Many people appreciate the wisdom and maturity of older generations. They have richer experiences and have dealt with various hardships in their early years. Some of our grandparents had fought major wars Linking Words
while
others faced lengths of poverty. Linking Words
As a result
, they can transcend adversities and become resilient and wise, which can teach young people important life lessons. Linking Words
Moreover
, they made huge contributions to the development of our nation in all fields. Their devoted effort should be well regarded. Take the Cantopop “Lion Rock Spirit” as an example, it praised the older working classes, who cooperated well and devoted their effort to rebuilding the aftermath of World War II that crashed Hong Kong. Linking Words
This
phenomenon is more prevalent in oriental cultures, where collaborative rights and authority are emphasized, and the youngsters need to respect and obey the elders.
Youth represents the future of the community. They seek noveltyLinking Words
,
and introduce different innovations and advancements. They Remove the comma
apply
also
merit open discussions; Linking Words
therefore
, they can express their opinions and receive feedback. They can propose solutions to effectively improve various issues because of skilful communication. They are still developing and have great potential to succeed, as a majority of teen and emergent adults just landed their head start in their careers and pursuing education. They can bring unexpected achievements which surpass the previous generations. Linking Words
For instance
, “The Friday School Strike”, which was initiated by a Swedish teenager Greta Thunberg, gathered thousands of like minders to support environmental conservation through Facebook. The strike has captured international awareness, pushed the government to reflect on conservation policies and rewrite laws regarding global warming. The voice of youth has been gaining importance in modern culture as changes in cultural and societal values have become frequent in recent decades. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the adaptability and creativity of young people lead them to successfully thrive in Linking Words
this
everchanging era.
In conclusion, I think the younger generation holds a greater importance in our community. Their performance can predict the fate of a nation. They will be standing in leadership roles, involved in crucial decisions, and shaping the future. The older generation passes their expertise and morals to a young person, which better prepares them to manoeuvre countless changes in the future societyLinking Words
Submitted by huiloksumstephanie on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure to maintain clear and logical connections between your paragraphs. Although your essay is well-structured, double-checking transitions and the flow of ideas can enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
To further elevate your task achievement, consider diving deeper into the nuances of both perspectives before presenting your viewpoint. Your essay does a great job, but there's always room to explore the shades of arguments even more.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion, and your conclusion wraps up your stance neatly, showcasing excellent structure.
Task Achievement
The examples you provided, such as ‘Lion Rock Spirit’ and ‘The Friday School Strike’, effectively illustrate your points and engage the reader.
Task Achievement
Your balanced examination of both views before stating your own opinion demonstrates a thorough understanding of the task.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?