IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Write about the following topic. When talking about success, we often think of people who are rich or famous. In your opinion, what are the qualities that characterise a successful person? Why do you think these should be the criteria? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

#topic #success #people #qualities #characterise #person #criteria #minutes
Most people declined to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 opinion that the wealthy or well-known persons in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society are the most successful in their life. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 there are other features, which may describe
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
 fruitful living. That means money and fame should not be considered as ultimate success keys. In
this
 essay, I will explain those characteristics and reasons for the same. Many people take the view that one’s success in life should be reflected as his or her economic status or fame among people. But to me, a
Add a hyphen
well-achieved
show examples
well achieved
Add a hyphen
well-achieved
show examples
 person in lifespan means as a well-being man with self-satisfied peace full mind and healthy body.
For example
, a person’s
marvelously
Change the spelling
marvellously
show examples
 privileged background could not move anything forward without his perfect physical and mental health conditions. In order to achieve whole success, one
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to concentrate on personal care as well. If someone constantly committing himself
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 money and status, it will be detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 his family life.
As a result
, he may need to go through mental depressions, which will be defiantly reflected
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 his physical
conditions
Fix the agreement mistake
condition
show examples
.
Therefore
, being affluent and famous does not mean that being successful. A large group of
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 reflect the view that the successful person should be well-off and well-known. But in my opinion being successful means, being healthy in mind and body.
Hence
 to achieve these both
one
Change to a plural noun
ones
show examples
 should be aware to maintain
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between money and personal well-being.
Submitted by Manoj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: