IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the advertisement of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case #advertisement
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most contemporary economies allow
such
 a model of employment as being self-employed, which appears very tempting for many.
However
 ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 the vast majority of
people
 opt for being employed in a
company
 and not to set up their own
business
.
This
 essay will attempt to look into the key factors as to why
people
 may prefer entrepreneurship and its major drawbacks . To start with, in many modern societies, including Russian, entrepreneurship is greatly encouraged with lots of
business
 seminars and workshops advertised. These may range from slightly fraudulent to genuinely educational and supportive, and ,
generally
Add a comma
,generally
show examples
 any information on setting up a
company
 is easily accessible for those who are willing. And willing they are, as being a
business
 person, the image itself has a certain feel of luxury, respectability and success.
People
 are being told that they have no limits and can easily become as wealthy as Steve Jobs as they wish it.
This
first
 reason is linked to the
second
, which is relevant for Russia and some other countries. Bank loans are accessible too, and they are largely eagerly granted. If a future
business
 person truly knows their
business
, it poses no threat.
Nevertheless
, easy access to setting up a
company
 for someone inexperienced or insensible may cause a range of problems. Apparently, the
first
 issue that may perplex an unskilled entrepreneur is the necessity to be a jack of all trades(if the
company
 is very small).Having taken the responsibilities of an accountant, PR or HR manager at the same time can be a burden and make the person wish they had never done it at all. If they hire other
people
 to perform these tasks, they must pay more tax and provide their employees with decent working conditions. At the same time,
business
 is usually a risky matter and in our competitive ,reality many of them go bankrupt. And
last
 but not least, self-employed
people
 are the only
people
 responsible for their own vacations, sick or maternity leaves or any job perks. So, in a nutshell, being your own master has many downsides,
that is
 why many
people
 decide to play it safe.
Submitted by 20429517 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: