In many countries, the average life expectancy has been increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and for society as a whole? Suggest some solutions.
Thanks to the development of medical science , humans could live longer. So
this
trend could lead to some burdens for society
. In this
essay, I will discuss the main hassles and then
provide some advice to manage them.
To commence with, elevating life expectancy could lead to higher healthcare costs
. Most of the elderly suffer from different disorders and need various medications and healthcare services. For instance
, my parents complain of Diabetes and Cardiovascular disease, consequently
, they need not only frequent visits to the doctors but also
a lot of medications which are covered by insurance. Needless to mention, these costs
should be paid by the government and society
. Moreover
, the increasing number of retired individuals could result in an imbalance of workforce
, because the senior people are not productive so they create challenges for economic growth. To illustrate more, the work-ageing population in Denmark have decreased dramatically, so the Correct article usage
the workforce
society
has faced many challenges in this
regard.
To cope with the above hassles, some effective steps could be taken. The first one is the modification of retirement rules and regulations. For instance
, many countries increase
the number of working Wrong verb form
have increased
years
, since the health level of elderly
has increased, Correct article usage
the elderly
therefore
, they can be productive for longer periods of time. In Iran , for example
,now
crowd needs to work 33 Correct article usage
the now
years
before their retirement compared to 30 years
in 5 years
ago. In addition
, there are some different private insurance companies which could compensate the health costs
.
In a nutshell, increasing the number of elderly in society
could impose a lot of costs
for society
and families, adjustment of some rules and support of insurance companies could mitigate the risks.Submitted by zohmoz93 on
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task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task by discussing the problems of increased life expectancy and offering solutions. To elevate your response, you could delve deeper into potential economic and societal implications. Additionally, integrating more varied examples from different countries or cultures could enhance the depth of your analysis.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear logical structure with appropriate use of paragraphs. For even better cohesion, try using a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure smoother transitions between points. Additionally, consider elaborating more on each point to provide a seamless flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion nicely frame your essay. However, ensure that your conclusion reiterates the main points discussed in the body of the essay for better coherence. It’s also useful to summarize the suggestions more clearly in the conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant and specific examples which help in grounding your arguments and illustrate your points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in readability and coherence.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...