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Band 4.5

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases
Technological advancements these days have made it possible to track every activity performed by an individual. Many people argue whether the gravity of the benefits of being under
survillience
Correct your spelling
surveillance
 more than its downside. In
this
 essay, I will try to elucidate how its profits are way more than its drawbacks. One of the prominent
reason
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reasons
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 that being monitored can be in favour of mankind due to increasing technologies is that it helps in reducing
crime
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the crime
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 rate.
For instance
 , by installing a CCTV camera at higher risk areas like at airports, railways stations , shopping malls and even outside our houses, we get to track any suspected visitors at
this
 place and can control the damage
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can cause.
Thus
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being under
survellience
Correct your spelling
surveillance
 is vital and for the safety of humans.
Nonetheless
, we must
also
 admit that
since
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apply
show examples
our thoughts that we post over social media, which is always scanned, has helped our
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 in understanding the mood of the citizens instantly.
For instance
,
Indian
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the Indian
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 government had launched a bill against Farmers and
since
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people voted against it over social media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 which was
then
 taken down after being noticed by the government.
Thus
 we need to admit that being under
scanner
Correct article usage
the scanner
show examples
 has helped
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 connect with higher authorities faster than before.
However
, I agree that it has certain downsides as well in terms of privacy.
For example
, some stalkers can hack the mobile GPS system and follow us and harm us.
However
, these risks can be minimised if we carefully do the privacy setting in our mobiles or always update the antivirus in our machines. To conclude, I clearly believe that
advantages
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the advantages
show examples
 that new technologies
has
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have
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 introduced are way more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 disadvantages. It is our responsibility to use the technical advancements mindfully. The developments are here to help us lead a better life and not to mount problems for us.
Submitted by ojhadipty.may on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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