IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today foods travel thousands of miles from the farm to the consumers. Why is this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present day with the advance of technologies
has been
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 increasingly popular
food
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 a long journey
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 arrive at people`s
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
. Large
manufactories
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
show examples
 are expanding their business around
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the whole country which
possibility
Replace the word
possibly
show examples
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 a huge number of people.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why long travels happen and why
this
Linking Words
 negative trend can lead to many consequences in the long term. Big and famous companies can reach and influence tons of individuals,
Linking Words
consequently
Add a comma
consequently,
show examples
 the more people they persuade, the more individuals will be interested in the
service
Use synonyms
 of the companies.
In other words
Linking Words
, is very arduous for small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
compete
Fix the infinitive
to compete
show examples
 with
this
Linking Words
 kind of
service
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 in big supermarkets rather than promoting the local
service
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when consumers choose to buy at large supermarkets, generally foods are imported from far cities resulting in local
food
Use synonyms
 being devalued.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the population should be more aware of local
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
, prioritizing and helping small businesses. But, why
this
Linking Words
 trend has a negative impact on society? Because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long travel is one of the responsible causes for the impact of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. The farther away will be the distance, the more polluted gases released into the air.
In addition
Linking Words
, these gases are responsible for climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
 around the world. Thinking with collective thoughts,
ideas
Correct word choice
and ideas
show examples
 can help not only me but
also
Linking Words
 my society, which is a huge step
to ameliorate
Change preposition
toward ameliorating
show examples
 our community
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the next generations.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is important
both
Fix the infinitive
to both
show examples
 promote the local
service
Use synonyms
 and use cars less. In conclusion, the population can have healthy nutrition by consuming local
food
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will help both sides, the environment and de small business.
This
Linking Words
 essay argued about why foods make long travels and why
this
Linking Words
 is a negative trend.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Make sure to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
structure
Ensure a clearer introduction and conclusion that directly address the essay prompt.
content
Clear explanation of the negative impact of long food travels on the environment and small businesses.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: