LETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagr

#emphasis #education #students #government #money #time #activities #people #disagr

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There are several opinions regarding whether

government

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funds should be allocated to youths' leisure time or educational initiatives.

While

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I agree that the

government

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should invest in pastime

activities

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the

education

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of a child should not be overlooked. I will elaborate my views in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, academic knowledge plays a vital role in a child’s well-being; they gain knowledge and implement it to pursue their passion , which shapes their future better.

Moreover

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, youth with elevated learning contribute to

nation's

Correct article usage

the nation's

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economy and development.

For example

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, kids who are unable to acquire

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education

Correct article usage

an education

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due to

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lack

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a lack

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finance

Fix the agreement mistake

finances

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will end up doing labor jobs. Their contribution towards the society will be minimized.

Hence

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, the

government

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spending money on

education

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and building

government

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schools which provide free schooling to children who can not afford is an imperative step towards the country’s success.

However

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, public authorities spending solely on teaching could have an adverse effect on students ' lifestyles. Young minds can easily feel stress if they are not encouraged to spend some time to relax their mind.Promoting recreational facilities

such

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as art, sports and music makes them creative and motivated. Europe country is one of the best examples where educational establishments organize extracurricular

activities

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for youth ; giving them a platform where they can show their creative skills and earn respect nationally and internationally.

Furthermore

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, engaging in relaxation

activities

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is essential for the younger generation to maintain a balanced lifestyle, enabling them to build a more promising future In conclusion,

although

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government

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funding in

education

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is important , I firmly believe that investing in co-curricular

activities

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can shape a better nation for the upcoming generations and

this

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could bring economic wealth to the whole community.

Submitted by mhsawdeparthvi29 on Tue Oct 15 2024

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relevant specific examples

Try to include more specific examples to strengthen your points, which will help in illustrating your arguments more effectively.

logical structure

Ensure that each paragraph clearly links back to the main thesis statement to reinforce your argument throughout the essay.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are both present and well-defined, helping to frame your argument clearly.

complete response

You've provided a balanced discussion on both sides of the argument, which helps in achieving a well-rounded essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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LETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagr

Multinational companies have become increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this method?

Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialized facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development, discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.