IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

we live in a world of technology these days. While the Internet brings it with clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
In the contemporary
world
, technology is in the spotlight and could allow the
Internet
 to bring undeniably numerous benefits to
people
,
nonetheless
Add a comma
,nonetheless
show examples
 some issues regarding the control and safeness of
information
 outweigh the positive development. In my opinion, I totally disagree, and
this
 essay will discuss some arguments that support my view.
To begin
 with, the
Internet
 is a milestone in the
world
 the main reason why I believe
that is
 because it has changed completely the way
people
 live today. The virtual
world
 brought about a faster pace into everyone’s life when some matters became simpler than they used to be,
such
 as how
people
 communicate, search for a job and even how they acquire knowledge. From my perspective, the lack of security that some websites may have, or even the absence of the source of the
information
 do not minimise
people
’s usage. Another reason why positiveness outweighs the disadvantages is that the free content available online has enormously increased. Several
people
 share their knowledge through online platforms which make
information
 runs faster amongst
people
. Once they become more frequent and common, cybersecurity needed to grow at the same level to assure that the environment is safe, and the
information
 shared is accurate.
Consequently
, with the advent of
this
 rapid growth, the way a country regulates its permits and prohibitions needed to evolve and indeed it does not mean that all problems diminish the importance of all advantages presented. In conclusion, it is clear that problems regarding cybersecurity exist, because they have evolved alongside the
Internet
,
however
, it does not make them more evident than all pros the
Internet
 brought to the
world
such
 as the rapid knowledge shared and the faster way of life.
Submitted by alexandretco on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: