IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The development of tourism contributed to english becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to english becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world.

#development #tourism #english #language #world #people
It is thought by some that globalisation would cause
languages
disappear
Add the particle
to disappear
show examples
, leading to only
one
language
 spoken in the
world
. There are a few benefits as well as drawbacks to
this
 development.
One
 evident advantage of having only
one
language
 is that it improves the quality of education. The
language
 barrier is
one
 of the major causes of miscommunication between
people
 from different
backgrouds
Correct your spelling
backgrounds
.
Therefore
, if
people
 spoke the same
language
, they could avoid conflict stemming from differences in
languages
. Japanese,
for instance
, is characterised by the use of ambiguous phrases, which often confuses
people
Correct your spelling
speaking
skeaking
Change preposition
into skeaking
show examples
languages
such
 as English. Another plus point of the mono-
language
world
 is that it removes the need to learn another
language
.
This
 is highly beneficial to individuals relocating to another country as it enables them to save time, money and effort to acquire a
second
language
.
For example
, students studying abroad would be able to focus on developing
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 expertise in their chosen field.
One
 global
language
,
on the other hand
, brings some
disadvantaegs
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 to the
world
,
one
 of which is the loss of culture. Undoubtedly,
language
 and culture are closely connected, which inevitably means that the disappearance of
one
language
 is accompanied
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
 culture in which it is used. For
this
 reason, having
one
 global
language
 presents a risk of hindering development in society as diversity plays a crucial role in solving complex social and environmental issues. A good example of
this
 is the well-known space agency NASA, which started hiring recruits from diverse linguistic backgrounds in order to achieve greater goals.
Moreover
, the loss of
languages
 would result in a decline in tourism. Learning another
language
 and interacting with the local residents brings joy to many individuals across the globe. The disappearance of
languages
,
therefore
, deprives
such
people
 of the motivation to travel abroad. A large portion of foreigners
visit
Change the verb form
visits
show examples
 Japan to become able to read manga in the original
language
. In conclusion,
mono-linguistic
Add an article
the mono-linguistic
show examples
world
 benefits
people
 in terms of communication and convenience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 contributes to the loss of cultural diversity. It is crucial that the
world
 strive to ensure
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
show examples
 development of society.
Submitted by a170077n on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prominent
  • Contribute
  • Global
  • Advantages
  • Disadvantages
  • Communication
  • Understanding
  • Ease
  • Business
  • Trade
  • Cultural exchange
  • Unity
  • Access
  • Information
  • Simplify
  • Travel
  • Tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: