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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021.

The charts shows air pollution levels by different causes among four countries in 2021.
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The chart gives some data about (the degrees) of pollution types which causes
according to
Linking Words
 various reasons in Japan,
America
Use synonyms
, China,
Use synonyms
Australia
Correct word choice
and Australia
show examples
 in 2021. These causes were illustrated like
transport
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,
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
 and
industry
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, units are measured in
PPM
Use synonyms
. The high rate of pollution was shown in China and in
industry
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,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 the least show belonged to
Australia
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. With regards to China and
America
Use synonyms
, generally, the shows of
industry
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 and
transport
Use synonyms
 were relatively similar (80
PPM
Use synonyms
 and 70
PPM
Use synonyms
),
in
Linking Words
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
 the minimum level belonged to
electricity
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generation
Use synonyms
 with just under 60
PPM
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 statistic was closer to the
transport
Use synonyms
 in
America
Use synonyms
.
Finallly
Correct your spelling
Finally
, the top level was shown in
America
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
 with just under 60
PPM
Use synonyms
, on the one
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 the pointers of
electricity
Use synonyms
generation
Use synonyms
 and
industry
Use synonyms
 were closer similar (30
PPM
Use synonyms
 and just down 30
PPM
Use synonyms
). In terms of
Australia
Use synonyms
 and Japan, most of all were appreciated in Japan in
dustry
Correct your spelling
industry
 almost just above 40
PPM
Use synonyms
,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 the pointer occurred in
electricity
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generation
Use synonyms
 approximately just above 10
PPM
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the pointers of
Australia
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 were closer to each other,
Linking Words
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 the indexes of
transport
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 and
industry
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 levelled off with approximately more than 10
PPM
Use synonyms
 and the other was just under 20
PPM
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words america, australia, transport, electricity, generation, industry, ppm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 3 times.
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