IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that spending money on developing technology for space exploration is unjustifiable, and there are more beneficial ways to spend money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #technology #space #exploration
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Nowadays, most developed
countries
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 are allocating a larger budget for
space
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 exploration. Some individuals believe that
this
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 is a waste of
money
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 and
this
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 fund should be spent for greater causes
instead
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, while others think that it is important to allocate more budget for
space
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 exploration. I agree with the idea that there are other beneficial
ways
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 to spend
this
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money
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 to a greater extent,
however
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, there are some
benefits
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 with developing these
technologies
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 which should
also
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 be discussed in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, developed
countries
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such
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 as the USA, China and Russia have been spending more
money
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 yearly on improving
technologies
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 for
space
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 exploration, and it is undeniable that these efforts have provided many
benefits
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 to mankind. Since these researches are helping the scientists to improve the
technologies
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 that are important for
people
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, these are helping them to solve many problems on the earth.
For instance
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,
as a result
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 of the continued researches on
space
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, the scientists were able to develop
technologies
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 to predict the weather and preparations for future threats
such
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 as asteroid hits on earth. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
 the
countries
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 have spent a lot of
money
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 to discover those, it is incontrovertible that these efforts have provided some
benefits
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 to
people
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 all over the world.
However
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, it is intuitively obvious that even though there are some
benefits
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 with it, it hasn't done a better job compared to the
money
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 that has been spent for the past few decades. Since there are many other
ways
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 to help the
people
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 by improving the public services, education and health sector, spending
money
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 on
space
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 researches should have been used for greater causes.
For instance
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, if the governments can allocate more funds on education and healthcare,
then
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 most individuals in the country would get
benefits
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 out of it.
Finally
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,
this
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 leads to improve the quality of living, produce well-educated generation and increase health conditions of the
people
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 in the country. Since there are more
benefits
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 to spend for other industries than improving
space
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technologies
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, I believe that the government should reduce the amount spend on
such
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 activities and allocate those to improve public services. In the summary, even though
space
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 observation plays an indispensable role in the research and development of other
technologies
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, there are many other
ways
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 that give more
benefits
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 to
people
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. Because of these reasons, I agree to a greater extent that the
countries
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 should not spend more
money
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 on the
space
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 industry, and they should focus on other
ways
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 to improve
people
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's quality of living.
Submitted by tnakkawita on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • justified expenditure
  • technological advances
  • earthly concerns
  • telecommunications
  • environmental conservation
  • inspire innovation
  • diplomatic relationships
  • peaceful cooperation
  • long-term survival
  • colonization
  • commercial ventures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: