It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

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In our daily life , we generally need to do various hard tasks. Most of these are risky and time-consuming. We know that without consistency with work, we can not achieve success i.e. actually no pain, no gain. Some people think that it is very crucial to take challenges, both in their working lives and their personal lives. As Individuals are unable to get facilities without accepting risks, they think it has significant roles.

For

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this

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reason, I would say that the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages. In the beginning, in our professional stage to get a good job or obtain a high rank in a sector, workers need to spend their valuable moments and need to be more patient.

For instance

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, Mark Zuckerberg is the founder of Facebook which is a very common and useful social media in the modern age. He left work only to produce the application system. In the meantime, he had to suffer from starvation, as he did not have much money. Though he had faced many admonishes, nowadays he has fame all over the world.

Additionally

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, he has now an abundance of money which is vital to making his life dynamic.

Moreover

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, making an excellent result in an exam is

also

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tough. If any student does not complete his lessons regularly, he can not cope with the other talented pupils. To do

this

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, he needs to study at least 8-10 hours a day. After practising in

such

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a way, he can cut a brilliant consequence.

On the other hand

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, accepting targets in all cases is not suitable because it has some detrimental effects on our bodies and minds.

Such

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as a person who wants to live on the planet Mars,

this

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is not a proper idea to beat. As we know that it is not a possible task, we should ignore

this

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thought.

Furthermore

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,many job holders adulate their senior colleagues or boss to ascend the acme position rapidly. But unfortunately, it works in a reverse way and the service man left the job. It brings a miserable situation to his family and personality. In conclusion, though there are both merits and demerits to welcoming challenges, the benefits can outweigh the disadvantages.

jonahid.stu20juTue Sep 05 2023

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Spelling and Typos

Remember to proofread your essay for small typos and spelling mistakes, such as 'bothh' in the prompt sentence and 'left work' instead of 'left his work'. These adjustments can polish your essay further.

Grammar and Style

Try to vary your sentence structures more to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical constructions. While your essay is well-written, introducing more complex sentences can enhance its readability and engagement.

Argument Development

To make your arguments even stronger, consider contrasting your examples with a counterexample and then refuting it. This shows a deep level of analysis and critical thinking.

Example Use

Your essay does an excellent job of outlining the advantages of taking risks, using relevant examples like Mark Zuckerberg's story to illustrate your point. It's a great demonstration of supporting your arguments with concrete examples.

Structure and Organization

You've managed to maintain an organized essay structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow and strengthens your arguments.

Conclusion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates the important points, reinforcing the overall message of your essay. This is a key aspect of effective writing.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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It is important for people to take risks, bothh in teir professional lives and their personal lives. Do yo think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think people should save money for their future life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

What do you think, what are the main effects of climate change? Which solutions can help to relieve its adverse impacts?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?