Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Some individuals argue that

music

is a good method of leading

people

together despite their cultures or ages. In my opinion,

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show examples

am totally agree

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totally agree

show examples

with

this

idea.

First

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believe

musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

can adjusting our

emotion

Fix the agreement mistake

emotions

show examples

and release pressure. When

people

have less stress, they become less aggressive and perhaps more friendly. A person with more friendly characteristics could find a friend more easily.

For example

, many professional athletes listen to

music

to relax

themself

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apply

show examples

before the matches and help them better perform in the games or

trainings

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training

pieces of training

show examples

Therefore

, listening to

music

could really benefit our emotions.

Secondly

people

Correct pronoun usage

who like

show examples

music

are more tend to gather together due to their same

Correct your spelling

hobbies

show examples

hobbits

Correct your spelling

hobbies

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. Different

people

have different preferences on

music

styles and they can join some groups more easily with the same things they like.

For instance

, when a person becomes a big fan of pop

music

, he can join some fans club or go to a concert.

Thus

, he can meet a lot of new friends there.

Thirdly

music

doesn’t

needs

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need

show examples

languages or any educations to understand. I believe

music

can be understanding by everyone even an infant or some animals.

For example

, many parents will take fetal education in order to cultivate children’s imagination. The main part of these classes is to listen to some classical

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

In other words

, a fetal can already

feels

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feel

show examples

and understands

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

Also

, some scientists have found that

music

can help some plants grow faster

compare

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compared

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to those plants cultivated in

nature

Add an article

a nature

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environment. In conclusion, I

am totally agree

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totally agree

show examples

with

this

statement and I believe

musics

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music

kinds of music

pieces of music

show examples

can

be understand

Change the verb form

be understood

show examples

by everyone and bring us closer.

Submitted by 2510881324 on Sat Aug 07 2021

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

Since most information about culture and history can be found online, museums and art galleries are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer living in an apartment while others believe living in a house brings more advantages. Which, out of the two, is better?

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its effort on uplifting the less fortunate? discuss both views

In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?