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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #information #research #business #world
Nowadays, the most debated point among the
people
 of the
society
 is whether to share
data
 or not about various fields of the economy
such
 as science, commerce and education. A part of the
society
 believes that as much
information
 should be yielded while others think that some
data
 are too worthy to be shared. In my opinion,
information
 should be shared with as many
people
 as possible but not in
such
 a way that sensitive
data
 is provided.
Firstly
, the majority of the
people
 believe that they should be accessible to various
information
 about the field of scientific research, business and education. Certainly,
this
 will remove the imbalance between the sections of
society
 and
also
 be a reason for the development, by getting free
access
 to tips and tricks about starting a business a small businessman can develop his firm.
On the other hand
, free
access
 to education can benefit the children of underprivileged
people
 in
society
.
Moreover
, if the public has
access
 to scientific research there are chances that it can be developed more.
For example
, the theory of relativity by Albert Einstein is studied in almost every school there are chances that the future physicist can develop
this
 theory by eliminating the limitation of the theory.
Secondly
, the
information
 should be accessible to
people
 in
such
 a way that it does not include confidential
information
,
also
 if more than the required
information
 is provided
then
 it will affect security.
For instance
, the
information
 about nuclear science and the defence sector is extremely sensitive ,
therefore
, the
data
 about it should not be disclosed as it will affect the safety of the nation. To conclude, though
access
 to
information
 about the various sectors is important it should be shared in
such
way
Correct article usage
a way
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
security is not hindered.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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