IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People can live and work anywhere they want to choose because of improved communication technology and transport. Do the advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages?

#people #work #communication #technology #transport #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now a
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 the significant development in the communication sector and the transportation department has changed the way of living
this
Linking Words
 makes it easy to do jobs and stay at
Correct your spelling
whichever
show examples
which ever
Correct your spelling
whichever
show examples
 location they feel comfortable the advantages definitely overweigh the disadvantages in the following paragraph I'll share my explanations with my opinions.
Firstly
Linking Words
 it is very important to communicate in your daily life either it is with family or job purpose in
this
Linking Words
 generation it has become simple to talk with their parents or kids from different locations through mobile phones,
mails
Correct your spelling
emails
show examples
 and social media in the work time passing important information can be kept confidential by talking on interlinked landlines at office
furthermore
Linking Words
commuuncating
Correct your spelling
communicating
 can be done much faster
for instance
Linking Words
 in the past while using letters it would take
days
Use synonyms
 to reach
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
destination
Add an article
the destination
a destination
show examples
 but now can do it in minutes.
Secondly
Linking Words
 moving from one place to
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
an other
Correct your spelling
another
show examples
 whenever they need in a cheap and efficient way is a luxury which majority and society can experience education and finding a work which they are comfortable with would be hard if they cannot afford the
transport
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
 in
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
 situation there are many means of
transport
Use synonyms
 like railways and motor vehicles which helps them to travel to the different places in a very limited amount of time
for example
Linking Words
 in the old
days
Use synonyms
 it could take
days
Use synonyms
 to more hundreds and
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
 now we can do within hours.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 inevitable that the drastic changes usage of vehicles causes serious issues
such
Linking Words
 as traffic
conjunstion
Correct your spelling
congestion
conjunction
 and pollution human beings use there use own vehicles or public
transport
Use synonyms
 to travel but they emit some dangerous chemicals to air which causes the damage to
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 To conclude it is important to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advanced means of communication and
transport
Use synonyms
 for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life but controlling the consequences caused by
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 improvements should
also
Linking Words
 be taken into consideration and take
preventivd
Correct your spelling
preventive
preventative
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
.
Submitted by chinnublaster99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: