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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some parents believe that extra private lessons outside school hours, where students work alone with a teacher, can help them do better at school. Others disagree. What are the advantages and disadvantages of private tuition? And give your own opinion.

As the importance of education rises, it is widely argued among parents whether extra private lessons with a teacher after
school
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 can increase
students
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' performance or not. In my opinion, the benefits of personal tuition outweigh its drawbacks
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I will be discussing my view in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, there are numerous advantages that it offers. First and foremost, by enrolling in private classes,
students
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 gain interesting knowledge
that is
Linking Words
 not included in the
school
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 curriculum. What's more, they can focus on certain subjects that they are weak at.
For example
Linking Words
, if
students
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 have any difficulties, they can simply ask the tutor directly
and
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, and
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 he will provide them with a solution to their academic problems. Most importantly, the reason why many juveniles take up one-on-one lessons is that their studying environment is much better compared to that at
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school
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school,
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 since most tutors are well-qualified when it comes to their teaching ability.
On the other hand
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, we should not overlook its disadvantages. Having to attend additional lessons after a tiring day of studying can lead to fatigue and stress.
Moreover
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,
students
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 will be inundated with homework both at
school
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 and in other classes. To make matters worse, self-study is a mandatory factor for
this
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 type of class.
In other words
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, if
students
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 are not self-disciplined enough and
unable
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are unable
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 to learn by themselves, all the supplementary studying hours will be useless. In conclusion, private tuition has its own pros and cons.
However
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, I believe parents should absolutely encourage their children to study with a tutor because it helps them to get better results at
school
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.

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task response
Make your view clear in one line at the start and end. keep to one main point about whether private tutoring is good or not.
coherence
When you list pros and cons, group them in separate parts and use link words that show clear flow from one idea to the next.
content
Add more concrete examples or facts to back up each reason for and against, so your points sound stronger.
grammar
Check long sentences and aim for shorter, direct sentences. This helps accuracy and ease of reading.
structure
You state a clear view and stick to it in the intro and conclusion.
structure
Good use of contrast with 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
content
There are ideas and some explanation for both pros and cons.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized attention
  • tailor teaching methods
  • learning style
  • address specific areas of weakness
  • positive reinforcement
  • academic performance
  • flexible scheduling
  • financial strain
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • over-reliance
  • independent study skills
  • over-scheduling
  • increased stress
  • reduced leisure time
  • development and well-being
  • unjustly
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