Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There are different attitudes towards making
mistakes
. Whether or not parents should give sufficient freedom for
children
to make
mistakes
has been a hot topic. Both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
of the argument will be discussed in
this
essay before an appropriate conclusion is given.
Firstly
, what the opposing side of the debate is always arguing is that preventing
children
from making
mistakes
will shape them to be more self-disciplined.
For example
, a friend of mine, who was taught to avoid
mistakes
in every aspect of life, has a very high standard for herself. What is more, she always makes detailed plans and carefully checks her work before
submitting
Correct pronoun usage
itsubmitting
show examples
.
Therefore
,
children
who were told not to make
mistakes
may be more likely to make academic achievements, like what she does in schoolwork. Controversially, it could
also
be argued that parents should allow
children
to make some
mistakes
so that
children
can be more self-esteemed, which is the point that I
tent
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
to believe. Using myself as an example, I was told not to be afraid of
mistakes
when I was very young.
Thus
, I became quite brave and confident
expressing
Change preposition
in expressing
show examples
my own ideas.
Moreover
, I am always enthusiastic
in
Change preposition
about
show examples
challenging myself, which allows me to make progress from time to time.
Hence
, it is supported that
children
who are encouraged not to fear
mistakes
tend to be bolder and more confident. In conclusion, both allowing and discouraging
children
to make
mistakes
could have benefits in their development.
However
, I tend to believe that parents should encourage
children
not to be afraid of making
mistakes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since
children
who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
brought up in
this
way will have better performance when confronting challenges.
Furthermore
, I think making
mistakes
will become more acceptable in the future.
Submitted by xjwchineseteacher on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom to make mistakes
  • critical thinking skills
  • lifelong learning
  • guided learning environment
  • resilience
  • independence
  • overprotective
  • dependency
  • problem-solving skills
  • confidence
  • negative consequences
  • learning process
  • personal growth
  • trial and error
  • balance safety and learning
  • development
  • support and guidance
  • empowerment
  • risk-taking
  • life lessons
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