You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give details of your study plans explain why you want to get a part-time job suggest how your friend could help you find a job You should write at least 150 words.

#country #study #job #friend #lives #help #plans

Dear Ankur, I hope you are doing well. I want to tell you something

finally

, I got a student visa and coming there so I am writing you

this

letter to help me regards the part-time job in Melbourne, Australia. Well,

firstly

I will let you know about my course which is 2 years at the University of Melbourne, Australia and my first term will start on 1st June. I heard from word of mouth that student needs to do a part-time job in order to pay expenses. And of course, you must know that I had to mortgage a student loan because of my father's situation here. I can legally work there for 20 hours per week as per immigration terms and conditions. So could you please arrange a job for me? I can understand that you didn't get time to call me

cause

Correct your spelling

because

show examples

of time differences. But, I suggest you take a day off and looking the surroundings near my study place where I can work in Restaurants or as a customer representative in the shopping centre. I have attached the resume which will help to find more information. I'll catch you soon there. Lots of love, Smiths Daren

Submitted by patelhardik2199 on Thu Jan 25 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and transitions smoothly to the next for better clarity and flow.

coherence cohesion

You can improve the logical structure by providing a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, ensuring each section flows naturally into the next.

task achievement

Try to stick to a polite and semiformal tone throughout the letter which is suitable for writing to a friend about a significant matter like job assistance.

task achievement

To achieve a higher score, make sure your letter thoroughly covers all aspects of the task. This includes expanding on each point within the letter's body and possibly adding more details or personal touches.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

201 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Educational aspirations
Work experience
Financial independence
Resume (or CV)
Local job market
International student
Legal requirements
Student work permit
Employment trends
Time management
Networking
A part-time position
Balance studies and work
Job hunting strategies

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? How can we prevent animals and plants from going extinct?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.