IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, inclusing young people, to save money for their future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Saving
money
Use synonyms
 is important for everyone, especially the younger generation.
While
Linking Words
 some oppose
this
Linking Words
 notion, I personally argue in favour. Young
people
Use synonyms
 should realise that savings protect against unexpected circumstances,
such
Linking Words
 as job loss, illness, or emergencies. Having savings allows
people
Use synonyms
 to avoid financial difficulties and debt.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everyone should have a financial safety net. Having sufficient savings can give you more confidence and independence, and improve your quality of life in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, you could enjoy a comfortable pension or have the opportunity to engage in your favourite activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 in your account generates income through interest.
For example
Linking Words
, you could open a long-term deposit account at a bank. Another point to consider is that when a person starts saving
money
Use synonyms
, they begin to economise and give up their usual comforts. Logically, their standard of living decreases
as a result
Linking Words
.
Such
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 have only their ultimate goal in mind. They constantly think about what they are saving for, but forget the most important thing: living.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 lack clear goals, which can lead to spending
money
Use synonyms
 on unnecessary things and postponing the realisation of more essential plans. Some
people
Use synonyms
 find it difficult to save if they lack a clear understanding of why they are doing so or are uncertain about their financial future. In conclusion, I believe saving for the future is a valuable skill because we never know what lies ahead. We need to prepare for life's pleasant and unpleasant twists and turns.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Make the point in each paragraph clear at the start. A short topic sentence helps.
cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like also, but, and for example. Use them well.
content
Give more proof. Use more main points and good acts as examples.
task
Reveal how much you agree. Keep the idea to the same view in all parts.
content
Clear idea that saving helps in hard times.
language
Good signs to move ideas: 'Another point to consider', 'for example'.
structure
Strong start and end that show view.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
What to do next:
Look at other essays: