Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

smartphones

Use synonyms

become a non-separated part of

children

Use synonyms

`s lives.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons for

this

Linking Words

issue and

then

Linking Words

describe the possible pros and cons of

this

Linking Words

development.

While

Linking Words

considering, both positive and negative aspects of

this

Linking Words

issue, I think the benefits of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon outweigh the drawbacks. The predominant factor that results in

children

Use synonyms

spending an enormous amount of time with

smartphones

Use synonyms

is the development of technology. It means that new technology creates a new and attractive world that absorbs

children

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as other individuals. It is

due to

Linking Words

the fact that

children

Use synonyms

can easily find friends on social media platforms, play online games with them and

also

Linking Words

, do their school research by using their

smartphones

Use synonyms

and the internet. Another reason is

due to

Linking Words

changing the lifestyle. In the present decade, parents encounter many problems. They do not have enough time for their

children

Use synonyms

so, kids should be amazed by some things

such

Linking Words

smartphones

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, they

use

Use synonyms

their

smartphones

Use synonyms

for many purposes

such

Linking Words

as paying bills, sending messages, navigating their destinations and

also

Linking Words

shopping

Correct word choice

and shopping

show examples

This

Linking Words

trend encourages

children

Use synonyms

use

Use synonyms

their

smartphones

Use synonyms

more and more

as well as

Linking Words

their parents.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon has some pros and cons

such

Linking Words

as establishing medical problems for users` eyes as negative points and easy access to new findings as positive points. In my opinion, the advantages of

this

Linking Words

trend are more than the disadvantages,

while

Linking Words

the cons can be reduced by some control procedures.

Children

Use synonyms

can easily access new technologies and

use

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

information to enhance the standard of their lifestyle.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can improve the quality of their social life by membership in social networks. In conclusion, there are some reasons that result in the increasing

use

Use synonyms

smartphones

Use synonyms

among

children

Use synonyms

which have both negative and positive sides. From my perspective, the benefits of

this

Linking Words

trend are more than the drawbacks.

n.fallahi327Sun Aug 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To improve your Task Response, aim to provide more specific examples to substantiate your points. While you mention social media and online games, adding concrete examples would demonstrate a stronger support for your ideas.

task achievement

Enhance your ideas' clarity by breaking down more complex sentences into simpler ones. This will reduce ambiguity and make your arguments clearer. A more explicit explanation of concepts will help the reader follow your reasoning more easily.

coherence cohesion

For better coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try using linking phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' or 'However' to connect your sentences and paragraphs for a more fluid reading experience.

coherence cohesion

There's room for improvement in the logical structure of your essay. Consider outlining your essay before writing to make sure every paragraph serves a purpose and contributes coherently to your overall argument.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively lays out what the essay will discuss, setting a clear path for the reader.

introduction conclusion present

You make good use of a concluding paragraph that clearly summarizes your main points and reiterates your position.

complete response

The essay consistently stays on topic, addressing both the reasons for increased smartphone use among children and the positive and negative aspects of this trend.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Travelling industry and relationships between countries have developed and tightened, due to high technology. As a result of this, countries are becoming more similar, and individuals are able to buy the same products everywhere in the world. In this essay, I will consider both cons and pros.
6.5
band
A growing number of people rely or restaurants and convenience food (Frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?
Food is one of the most basic needs for humans to live a better life. Despite that, recently, many individuals have been eating from restaurants or packed food instead of preparing food at home. There are several merits such as it saves a lot of time spent on meal preps along with the demerits like it is an inadequate source of essential minerals, vitamins, and proteins. Both advantages and disadvantages are further explained in the letter.
6.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Many companies implement various ways to attract customers, especially by claiming that their products are new in order to gain people’s attention and curiosity. In my opinion, I contend that it can lead to a negative consequence because it can be seen as a lie and disappoint their customers.
6
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is still a subject of debate whether the homeschooling system for students is the right path for them as many people say that traditional schools have more suitable feasibility for pupils. In this essay, I disagree with the motion; in contrary, I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.
6.5
band
Rich countries are getting richer while poorer countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?
There is a huge gap between rich countries and poorer countries in today's world. Wealthy countries are getting richer; however, poverty-stricken countries cannot make strides in their economies. The main problem is brain drain, and offering job incentives for people to stay in their country of origin might be a solution.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

A growing number of people rely or restaurants and convenience food (Frozen food and packaged meals) rather than home-cooked food to supply most of their meals. What are the advantages and disadvantages of eating this way?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries are getting richer while poorer countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?