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Band 6

young people who commit crimes should be punished in the same way as adults by the authorities. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #crimes #adults #authorities
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Some sections of
society
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thinks
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think
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 that authorities should uniform the
punishment
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 regardless of their gages, while others shed that
society
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 should consider teenagers’ particular situations,
such
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 as not being as mature as adults. Personally speaking, I agree with the former opinion. It is advantageous for the public and government to unify the same
punishment
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 of the criminals regardless of their different
age
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 groups for the following reasons.
Firstly
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, uniformity in
crime
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 can clearly present that the law is fair to the public.
People
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 would rehabilitate the law identity more, due to the no difference
punishment
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 of
crime
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. And, These kinds of
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the strategy
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strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
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 carried out by the government
also
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 can help them to build a deterrence to the public through the uniformity of
punishment
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.
Secondly
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, punish
people
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 regardless of
age
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also
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 can reduce the
crime
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 rate because of the severe
punishment
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 efficiently. Considering the zero-tolerance about
crime
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 and unprotection of the young
age
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 group, everyone would be more confident to establish a more safe and secure
society
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. The ultimate goal is good for the whole community under the zero-tolerance of
crime
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 monitor.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think that the final aim for
punishment
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 is not within the demolish but within the rebuilt and give the
people
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 a
second
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 chance. So
that is
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 why some
people
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 argue the youth should not punish as the same as the adult by not mature and they're young. If the severe
punishment
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 beat them too heavy may damage their mental health and confidence to recover and return to
society
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 as a good citizen. Those
people
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 who think more about the ultimate goal of
punishment
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 may not agree to unify the law without any particular situation considerations. And the authority
also
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 should be paying attention to the degree of the
punishment
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, neither too severe to destroy
people
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’s confidence nor too leniency to give them the idea that they can arbitrary commit
crime
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 because of their young
age
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 can escape some
punishment
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. In conclusion, as the reason above ,that I think uniformity in
crime
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punishment
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 is good for the whole
society
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 in an efficient way because the leniency may breed more
crime
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 and danger.
Submitted by jyo87 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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