Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

More and more
people
suffer from obesity and that leads to serious problems with health. The reason why the number of overweight
people
is growing is an unhealthy lifestyle,
while
the problem can be tackled by enhancing the
life
quality of
people
. To start, obesity is a widespread concern in our community owing to unhealthy habits in their
life
. Humans show little activity in their everyday lives as they prefer to stay inside rather than outside. Most of them do not do sport or something else, at the same, time they eat fast foods so much and
as a consequence
, gain weight.
In addition
, laziness is very common in modern society
in contrast
with the past,
that is
why the number of fat
people
climbed dramatically.
For instance
, doctors of one of the 17 clinics in Pittsburgh say that 89.1% of overweight
people
gain weight
due to
live
Change the verb form
living
show examples
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
life
.
This
issue can be solved by changing the
life
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
of that
people
.
It is clear that
if the primary reason is a way to live,
then
the solution will be change. Physical activities and quality nutrition will boost their health, increase daily activities and give them more energy. Eventually, it would be easier to tackle the problem or even preclude it beforehand.
Moreover
, researches conducted by Birmingham University justify
this
idea and show that 88.3% of local doctors advise their patients to change their lifestyle as a phase of treatment.
To conclude
, the main reason why obesity is very common in our society is how they live and the solution to the problem is a change in their daily
life
habits.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing more varied examples and explanations to thoroughly support each main point discussed.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs to ensure smooth progression of ideas.
task achievement
The essay maintains focus on the task and answers both parts of the question effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument.
task achievement
You have used an external source to support your arguments, showing critical thinking and strengthening your essay's position.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: