IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In order to truly innovate, continued hard work is more important than intelligence. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#work #intelligence
Consistent hard
work
 is considered
plays
Change the verb form
to play
show examples
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 vital role in
innovation
 in comparison to
intelligence
.I partially agree with the above notion to a great extent and the reason for my partial agreement is discussed in the following paragraphs. On one side, the reason why hard
work
 is given more preference than smart
work
 when it comes to
innovation
 is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
innovation
 requires multiple attempts of
certain
Add an article
the certain
a certain
show examples
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 to reach the objective in which the
intelligence
 of an innovator may not be that crucial.
In other words
,
innovation
 is entirely transforming the existing product or technology in which a certain road map is followed by innovators . The planning may require too much
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
intelligence
,
however
, after a plan is designed the majority of
work
 and the
achivability
Correct your spelling
availability
achievability
 of success rely upon the uninterrupted and continues
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 of innovators. To exemplify, the plan and objective to introduce
a curved display smartphones
Correct the article-noun agreement
a curved display smartphone
curved display smartphones
show examples
was
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were
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 defined in
year
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the year
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 2016 which was just a 10% part of
innovation
. The engineering team
on the other hand
, despite multiple fail
attempts
Add the comma(s)
,attempts
show examples
 worked dedicatedly for 4 years to successfully develop its prototype in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2020.
Hence
,
although
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intelligence
 may play some initial role in
innovation
, the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 involved is certainly more important.
On the other hand
, there might be some instances where the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 becomes less essential than
intelligence
 for innovations.
In other words
, there are few instances
such
 as the
innovation
 of
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
 covid-19 vaccine which could protect against
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 variants. There were inexperienced scientists involved in that
innovation
 which did not bring any optimistic results despite their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
however
, when replaced with more intelligent and experienced scientists, it did not take more than a month to
introduct
Correct your spelling
introduce
 a vaccine named Covishield which was a
life saver
Correct your spelling
lifesaver
show examples
innovation
 for India.
Therefore
, in certain
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 the
intelligence
 becomes more important than worthless
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. To conclude,
although
 the achievement of
innovation
is heavily relies
Change the verb form
is heavily relied
show examples
 upon the
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intelligence
 in few instances becomes more important than just working hard.
Submitted by ankit.hart on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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