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Band 4.5

Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#television #violence #children #programs #scenes
The majority of people believes that in today's era aggression level among kids has increased mainly due to television
programs
. I agree with the given statement to some extent ,television is not only the source of
violence
 but
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 there are other factors too.In the following paragraph with the relevant reasons, I will illustrate the same.
Initially
 , a channel needs to secure approval from the censor board before any program is aired on a
TV
. In case,
violence
Add an article
the violence
show examples
 level is high, it needs to be modified to
acceptable
Add an article
an acceptable
show examples
 degree. As school
children
 are not competent enough to differentiate between right or wrong,
therefore
 mostly they end up picking
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
show examples
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.
Secondly
, it has been observed that the
children
 always try to imitate action moves they watch on
TV
 shows.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 due to the recent live show of the
Word
Correct your spelling
World
show examples
 Wrestling Championship in the region, the number
violent
Change preposition
of violent
show examples
 activities were surge as
children
 were indulged in replicating the fight moves viewed in the program.
In contrast
,
violence
 existed even before the
TV
 was invented. In the United States,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 juvenile punishment was established in the early 17th century , so
TV
programs
 are not the primary source of
violence
.
In addition
, it is often claimed that
children
 do not enjoy watching
violence
 in
programs
, they spent most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
TV
 time with
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
. According to the research by local authorities, youth mostly learn the violent activities from his immediate family.
Altenatively
Correct your spelling
Alternatively
, they claim that through the action
programs
 on the
TV
childrenhas
Correct your spelling
children has
children
 developed the
martialarts
Correct your spelling
martial arts
martial-arts
 skills without any mentorship. To elucidate, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high time to restrict the violent
programs
 for
children
socensor
Correct your spelling
sensor
censor
 board needs to define clear guidelines and rating needs to be explained to guardians so that they can brief about the content and minimize the impact of
suchprograms
Correct your spelling
such programs
 .
Submitted by rahulbhajji on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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