Television injects violence in children, and programs with violent scenes should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#television #violence #children #programs #scenes

The majority of people believes that in today's era aggression level among kids has increased mainly due to television

programs

. I agree with the given statement to some extent ,television is not only the source of

violence

but

certainly

Add a comma

,certainly

show examples

there are other factors too.In the following paragraph with the relevant reasons, I will illustrate the same.

Initially

, a channel needs to secure approval from the censor board before any program is aired on a

. In case,

violence

Add an article

the violence

show examples

level is high, it needs to be modified to

acceptable

Add an article

an acceptable

show examples

degree. As school

children

are not competent enough to differentiate between right or wrong,

therefore

mostly they end up picking

dangerous

Add an article

a dangerous

show examples

side

Fix the agreement mistake

sides

show examples

Secondly

, it has been observed that the

children

always try to imitate action moves they watch on

shows.

For

instance

Add a comma

,instance

show examples

due to the recent live show of the

Word

Correct your spelling

World

show examples

Wrestling Championship in the region, the number

violent

Change preposition

of violent

show examples

activities were surge as

children

were indulged in replicating the fight moves viewed in the program.

In contrast

violence

existed even before the

was invented. In the United States,

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

juvenile punishment was established in the early 17th century , so

programs

are not the primary source of

violence

In addition

, it is often claimed that

children

do not enjoy watching

violence

programs

, they spent most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time with

cartoon

Fix the agreement mistake

cartoons

show examples

. According to the research by local authorities, youth mostly learn the violent activities from his immediate family.

Altenatively

Correct your spelling

Alternatively

, they claim that through the action

programs

on the

childrenhas

Correct your spelling

children has

children

developed the

martialarts

Correct your spelling

martial arts

martial-arts

skills without any mentorship. To elucidate, it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high time to restrict the violent

programs

for

children

socensor

Correct your spelling

sensor

censor

board needs to define clear guidelines and rating needs to be explained to guardians so that they can brief about the content and minimize the impact of

suchprograms

Correct your spelling

such programs

Submitted by rahulbhajji on Sun Aug 08 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

303 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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