IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More people today prefer to live alone in comparison to past. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and relevant examples.

#people #comparison #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
high technology
Add a hyphen
high-technology
show examples
 world,
people
Use synonyms
 like to live alone more than to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why
people
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tend to live alone in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world. The reason why
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to live by themselves
lie
Correct subject-verb agreement
lies
show examples
 in individuals and societal values. One of the reasons is increasing modernization.
People
Use synonyms
 in the past lived with a big family and cared about the family and community,
however
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in the present prioritize their own life over others.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individualism is increasing in modern
society
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 like to be alone without any
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
 and disturbance from others. They opt to live alone.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
,
society
Use synonyms
 starts to respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of family in a different way. For example,
people
Use synonyms
 have come to any gathering or family party with different types of families like a single-person household.
This
Linking Words
 developing trend can have advantages and disadvantages results. With regards to advantages, those
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 are able to concentrate on their studies.
For instance
Linking Words
, they can improve their on-computer skills because
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of major needs more
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 no
disturbing
Replace the word
disturbance
show examples
. T so they can put all their energy into learning
this
Linking Words
 type of course.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, living alone by own can alienate
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 from others including family members. The result of
this
Linking Words
kind
Use synonyms
 of life is loneliness. In conclusion, living alone can become a main path in some societies. B because now we live in an individualistic
society
Use synonyms
 and we are going to
this
Linking Words
 rapid pace.
This
Linking Words
 type of
life’s
Change noun form
life
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 distance between family members and
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by maryam.zarei on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: