IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
In many parts of the
world
, young
people
 joining the workforce or travelling right before their orientation in university is a common phenomenon. The various outcomes of it like the lesson of pragmatism and self-assessment which are favourable for young
people
, whereas many derail from their goals and fall into depression. On one hand, working or wandering in the transition period after high school renders immense benefit to the young
people
.
Firstly
, they participate in real-
life
 perspectives to become self-sufficient which helps them to know the practical
world
 beyond the border of theoretical knowledge. In
such
 a way they unravel the actual
world
 around them which was full of infatuation and illusion to them before.
Moreover
, they learn their own self in
this
 way, which is quite imperative to prosper in
life
.
For example
, a student working in a garage or a restaurant could assess his strength and weakness regarding different perspectives like
people
 skills, management competency. For these benefits, the trend of exploring work or place before joining university has become a suitable trend around the
world
.
On the other hand
, when young
people
 complete high school, they remain
amateur
Add an article
an amateur
show examples
, for which it becomes quite intricate for them to choose the right way in their
life
. Without having a proper mentor, they usually derail from their goals. Many young
people
,
for instance
, despite having enormous potential, do no join university or continue their studies.
Additionally
, many of them, having been exposed to an unencouraging working environment, get frustrated and tend to escape from
life
. After losing self-confidence at that tender age these
people
 rarely come back to the right track of
life
. In conclusion,
although
 there are several positive outcomes of young
people
 joining the workforce or having wanderlust after high-school graduation, risk factors of
this
 trend should
also
 be considered.
Therefore
, adultescents around young
people
 should always extend their hand to help them.
Submitted by sgredwan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
What to do next:
Look at other essays: