IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Today many people living in rural areas are leaving and moving to urban centers. This is happening all over the world. Give the reasons behind this move and give the problems that this may cause.

The world has changed in many ways when it comes to resting and getting enough sleep. Many doctors notice that their patients are having difficulties getting enough sleep.
This
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 essay will examine the
problems
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 that can be caused by not sleeping and the solutions for that. On the one hand, there are many
problems
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 that can be caused by the lack of sleep. Primarily, people who don'
t
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 sleep much have
problems
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 focusing and memorising.
This
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 happens because their brains didn'
t
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 have enough time to get rid of the melatonin.
In addition
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, everybody who lacks sleep experiences health issues. Many studies suggest that not sleeping can affect the body's immune system and vascular system.
Furthermore
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, mood swings can be a big issue for people who don'
t
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 sleep. Anyone who is sleepy will get angry or sad, or nervous over silly things.
On the other hand
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, there are several solutions for
this
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 problem.
First,
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fixing the sleep schedule.
This
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 solution can be difficult sometimes because the brain is used to the old schedule.
However
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, it can be fixed by sleeping and waking up at the same time every day, even on the weekend.
Second,
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consuming melatonin pills. Many doctors suggest that using melatonin pills can be useful if used properly and shouldn'
t
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 be overused.
Finally
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, drinking less coffee is a great solution for
this
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 problem. The consumption of caffeine in the evening can affect people's sleep. In conclusion, it is clear to see that there are multiple
problems
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 to net getting enough sleep.
However
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, there are excellent solutions for
this
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 problem.

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structure
Plan the essay with three clear parts: problem, effect, and fix. Use simple order words like First, Next, Finally to guide the reader.
accuracy
Check facts about sleep. Do not say the brain 'gets rid of melatonin' as a main reason; keep ideas simple and true.
coherence
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a sentence that states the idea and end with a short wrap-up.
content
Give more real, easy examples to back up points and keep language simple.
grammar
Watch small errors in grammar and spelling, e.g., 'net getting' should be 'not getting'; use simple words.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end which show the topic.
coherence
It uses link words to move from one idea to another.
content
The topic is clear and the writer tries to discuss both issues.
content
The overall idea is easy to follow for a reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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